Disney Princesses, and the threat of women who own non-alcoholic glass bottles

Social IssuesPhilosophy

  • Author Thomas H Cullen
  • Published May 18, 2018
  • Word count 464

In everyday life, it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to own alcohol. Women can have jobs, just like men, and they can run for office and they can pay for men just as much as men pay for women. As a result, anyone who happens to find a bottle of alcohol in a woman’s fridge has no reason to be offended.

Where things get mysterious however, is if a person happens to find just a bottle in a woman’s fridge. The bottle doesn’t have to be a type of alcohol, but can just be a bottle that has a certain size. Is it just me, or would this ruin the idea of the Disney Princess?

Just to clarify: the hypothetical scenario that’s in question has nothing to do with alcohol, but is actually just about what happens when someone finds a glass bottle in a woman’s fridge. For some very strange reason, the notion of a glass bottle in a woman’s fridge has a bearing on the Disney Princess – and what’s even stranger is that the connection between the two seems to derive from the clarification that alcohol has nothing to do with the scenario.

Once I remove alcohol, from the equation, I’m then left with a surreal impression. If a person finds a glass bottle – and just a glass bottle – in a fridge which that person "knows" is owned by a woman, the perhaps inevitable effect is to then ponder either Ariel, Aurora, Belle or Cinderella (Snow White would presumably be included in the scenario, although I’ve yet to go over the scenario and be reminded of the character).

I like Ariel, and I like Belle and I like Aurora. I’m also into horror films, so I have a true perspective on the meaning of Ariel, and Belle and Aurora. While I don’t exactly dislike the idea, that either Ariel or Aurora are subject to glass bottles in women’s fridges, I’m also aware that this isn’t necessarily something that Ariel or Aurora should be proud of.

If a woman has a bottle, in her fridge, and the bottle happens to be made out of glass and to be a certain size, it’s hardly appropriate and logical that seeing that bottle should invoke Ariel or Aurora, or any other Disney Princess. If the bottle is a type of alcohol, the experience should be a balance – it’s when the bottle isn’t alcohol yet is made of glass that the thought of a Disney Princess has importance.

In summation: glass bottles that contain alcohol aren’t a threat to Disney Princesses, but glass bottles that don’t contain alcohol are a threat

Just don’t ask me why

Would like to visit all parts of the universe, so that all British businessmen can lick George Clooney's house

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