How to deal with a rude girl in salsa dancing?
- Author Esteban Oscar Conde
- Published November 21, 2020
- Word count 613
This is something I experienced myself. I assumed that because everyone was friendly at my dance studio class, that it would be the same experience at the Salsa dance club. That couldn't be further from the truth. Learning how to navigate a salsa club or social for someone who is new to the scene it's something everyone should learn. Specially what to expect, to avoid misunderstandings and disappointment . Theses tips I share are based on my own experience and are my opinion so take them with a grain of salt.
-Some people tend to be friendly and warmer with those who the know and are familiar with. In a salsa club, and even socials sometimes ladies get harassed a lot. Some tend to be stand offish to new people. The more you go, the more familiar you are to them. With time, you will see that the place a sa whole will warm up to you and you to the new place.
-Everyone expects that you know how to dance, and everyone goes there for that purpose. When I was a beginner dancer, I danced with girls who were way above my skill level. I saw their eyes rolling at me, and the “I am really bored” look. You could see that they couldn't wait for the song to be over. I believe (and I teach my students now), on being cordial and help other stay motivated in their dance journey specially beginners. But in the salsa scene, from the most part, if you go to a place where everyone knows how to dance, they expect you to know how to dance well.
Some places are friendlier than others. Each salsa club and venue, carries the vibe and energy of the teacher or promoter who runs the place. Try a couple of different places and see how different one place from another sometimes feel. Stick to the places where it feels right for you and you feel welcomed. These places do exist, you just need to find them.
Go out with friends dancing. This works really well. You will get to dance and have a great time with friends, but you will also dance with their friends as well.
Focus on dancing with followers at or bellow your level. As a lead, you will be asking everyone to dance, and you will also get a lot of “no, thank you” answers. One of the things I teach my lead students is to scan the dance room . Ask to dance those who you find to be at or bellow your level. Specially those bellow your level, because they make you feel appreciated and they have so much fun. This helps you build the confidence you need for social dancing. Then once you feel confident, ask someone above your level to dance. If they say no, it won't affect you because your confidence level is high. Trust me, it works.
-Sometimes ladies will say no to you when asked to dance. Sometimes because they don't know you. Sometimes because they've danced too much and are taking a break. Sometimes they want to dance with those at their level, or better dancers. Whatever the reason, don't take personally. We think that because they say no to dance, they are rude.
-Some followers have an ego of the super star. Ignore them and focus of friendly ones. Dance and ask to dances those who are always smiling and having a great time on the dance floor. I hope these little pointers help. Just know that there are plenty of nice and friendly people out there. Just look for them and you will find them.
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