“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

I was 56 years old when I got married. Most people at that age who were married had already been married for quite a few years. I got married when I was ready to get married. I had a few relationships before then. One was for 20 years and the other one was for 3 years.

After those two relations ended, I stayed single for a very long time. I loved being single. I had my own home, a good job, and peace when I came home from work. It was great until it wasn’t. I realized that I was getting older with all this freedom and had no one to love.

When I decided to get married I knew that it was going to happen one time and one time only. So, I sat down in my home and had a long talk with God telling him I was ready to get married and He had to give me a husband. I explained to God what type of husband I wanted.

The next thing I heard God say to me was, before I give you a husband you are going to have to change your ways. I said with your help Lord, we can do this.

It took a few more years for me to prepare myself to be a wifey before I met my now husband who I have been married to for 10 years. I will be the first to tell anyone this, marriage isn’t easy. If you want it to work, just like anything else you have to build it if you want it to be a success, you are going to have to work at it.

I always keep the communication lines open. Once communication stops, it’s the beginning of the end. No matter what happens between me and my peeps, I make sure we talk it out.

There are times when I will pick my time to have that talk. I don’t run up on him at any given time and start going off hollering and screaming, that doesn’t work. When both people are screaming, no one is listening.

3. I make sure to spend time with my peeps. I put the phone down and turn off the computer and we kick it together. We sit outside and laugh and talk about whatever. We even spend time with the cat together. When our cat sees us sitting outside together the first thing he does is come and get between us so we can rub him.

4. I will even watch a football game with him at times. I can tell he enjoys that. We do Netflix together, and I get him to watch Lifetime movies with me.

5. No marriage is perfect. I had to grow into mine. In the beginning, I used to act like a fool. We would fight like crazy people. Living by yourself and being independent has its challenges. Mine was to learn to calm my ass down and let a man be a man. That was hard and still is at times. God is still working on me.

6. Then there’s me/he time. Everyone in any relationship needs to have their own separate time to either be by themselves or be by themselves with their friends. We as a married couple have to keep our independence as a person. There is no reason for us to be stuck under each other 25 hours a day/8 days a week.

We girls always get to go do things with our girlfriends. We go shopping and get our nails done, our hair done. We do lunch and plan each other's weddings. We girls do things, and we do these things without our spouses.

According to the website iMOM guys going out husbands need to support, laugh, and talk about life other than their wives.

iMom suggests just like you need your girlfriends because they can relate to what you are going through differently than your husband does, your husband needs guy friends to do the same. They can provide a different kind of support that will build him up and encourage him.

Having separate time is healthy for both partners in the relationship. You don’t feel like you’re tied to a ball and chain. It keeps the relationship fresh with trust, and respect.

Never take each other for granted!