I read a great quote recently by Hermann Hesse, a 20th century novelist and Poet. Here's what he said: "I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value."

For me personally, that quote has tremendous power. I've always believed that every circumstance has within it a lesson, or message that's designed to get your attention. That belief has allowed me to get through some pretty tough circumstances. Like when my wife and I first moved from New Jersey to Georgia. We were struggling with being away from family. I had worked for several companies that shut down after only months of being employed by them. At one point, I had 4 different jobs in just as many months. I was beginning to think it was me destroying the companies! We wanted nothing but to pack up and move home. But we stayed and we persevered.

During that same period of time, we had 6 children in a 9 year period and already had 3 at home! Since I wasn't able to hold a steady job and the babies kept coming, people questioned our sanity. Even we questioned our sanity at some points. But my wife Joanne always said, "Hey, it will work out. If God wanted us to have all these kids, he'll provide a way for us to handle it." And she was right because He always has.

As I look back on those early years, each job led me to a better job and today I enjoy a very large network of wonderful people, many who are close friends. I also have some wonderful learning experiences that have allowed me to move on to positions with greater responsibility and flexibility. I never would have had them if I didn't go through those job losses. As for the 9 children my wife and I had, I can't imagine life without them. Each one has their own personality and it's wonderful to watch them grow and change and begin to become young adults. As Charlie Jones says, "Life IS tremendous!"

The most recent challenge my family has dealt with has been the hardest but has had the biggest amount of lessons. In November of 2004 my wife Joanne was diagnosed with carcinoid liver cancer. It's the kind of cancer that metastasizes from somewhere else in the body. The doctors were never able to find out where it originated and as a result Joanne passed away 9 months later. When I say that this experience has given us the biggest amount of lessons I mean that it's caused me to examine myself as a husband and father and to realize that there has been no greater calling for me than those two roles. Even now that I'm no longer married, I realize the importance of the role of husband because I was in it for 15 years. And as a single father raising 9 children, well, let's just say that there is no more important role than being a parent. And I mean that for anyone who has kids.

The reason I'm able to get value out of this tragedy is due to my strong faith. Even if she didn't die, the simple fact that Joanne and I had 9 children allows me to believe that we were created for a big mission. The fact that her mission was completed earlier than mine, magnifies it because now I've had to rise to the challenge that's been put before me. See, if you believe that God exists and that things are divinely guided, you take value out of every circumstance, even the challenging ones. You believe that your life is like a giant portrait and while you are on earth you only get to see a small corner of that portrait. After you die, the rest of it will be revealed to you. So I know that there was a reason for Joanne's death but I try not to figure out why because I know I'll eventually know the answer.

In terms of the value I've gained from this experience, one is my relationship with my kids. I have a stronger relationship with them now than I've ever had before because of the challenges we've been through together. I'm not saying that its a fair trade off but I do know that I would have never been this close to them had this not happened. Another is how I see Joanne's example of a great woman. Had she not died I never would have realized what a great model for all of us she was or how much I really loved her.

So how do you get that belief in God? It starts by going back to your roots. If you're not a church goer or "religious" person, talk to your parents and find out what they believe and where they worshiped and ask about your grandparents as well. It's only been in recent decades that we've pushed God out of our lives. You most likely still have a living relative who has a strong faith and who still practices that faith. Spend time with them and find out what they believed and why. Using their experiences, make a decision on how you're going to worship going forward. Then, once you open your heart to God, he'll direct you where to go. It won't be easy but it will be the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.

God desires a relationship with each of us, his children. But he only knocks. If we don't answer then we can't let Him in. When you let Him in, He begins the work that needs to be done to build the relationship He desires and the relationship we need. That's how you get faith and that's how you create value out of every circumstance.