Many couples have this preconceived notion that the act of doing everything together equals a healthy relationship or marriage. On the contrary, it can destroy the person’s spirit and ultimately the relationship itself. These couples engage in a romantic relationship, and then spend every waking moment together. They do everything together. They’re inseparable and become glued to the hip. And then the inevitable happens. They slowly begin to let go of their friends, abandon their dreams, and eventually lose their self-identities. The strength and vitality of the relationship starts to fade in the horizon.

So, how do you prevent this from happening? You need to shift priorities and establish balance towards a healthy relationship. This translates to practicing "togetherness", as well as its counterpart "separateness", simultaneously in the relationship or marriage. In other words, both partners share a life together of common goals, values, hobbies, activities, and so forth, as they continue to pursue individual interests in order to meet their own personal needs.

Being married or romantically involved with someone should not preclude you from following your dreams. Otherwise, your emotional and mental growth gets stunted. Personal growth is an essential part of life. It’s human nature to aspire to continually grow, learn, change, and improve upon your current situation. It allows you to reach your true potential as an individual and gives you personal satisfaction. Once you achieve a state of self-realization and gratification, you are placed in a better position to contribute significantly to the partnership. The essence of transforming you into a better partner leads to a healthy relationship. On the other hand, if you forget to exercise your own individuality or the separateness factor as you engulf yourself deeper into the relationship, you begin to lose your self-identity. Due to the discontentment you soon experience, your emotional well-being is affected and your relationship suffers.

Establishing balance in the relationship will definitely produce a more fulfilling, harmonious, and intimate connection with your partner. Keep in mind that no two people are alike. You and your partner will always have some similarities and differences. The similarities are what will draw you two together and help strengthen the bond between you as a couple – same choice in music, mutual friends, similar values, aligned goals, for example. You enjoy each other’s company and satisfy each other’s needs. However, it’s the differences that make you an individual and the separateness factor that will also bring you closer together. As an individual, you will feel more alive and challenged as you pursue your own endeavors. For instance, taking an art class, volunteering your time to the community, playing sports, spending time with friends or co-workers, to name a few. You will learn so much from the other elements you are exposed to outside of the relationship, which you can share with your partner. Together, you will grow as individuals and as a couple as you make it a priority to strike a balance in your relationship or marriage.