Yesterday I was having lunch with my "self- confessed not marrying type" friend and she asked me out of the blue "How do you keep yourself when you are madly in love with lover? How do you not lose your selfhood in the oneness of an affair?" "How can do you maintain the ‘I’ in ‘We’?" I was somewhat surprised by her sudden in-depth interest in romantic relationships so I gave her the most direct and uncomplicated relationship advice that I can give her.

First off, Awareness is key. You should have a strong grip of who you are.Be aware of your strengths and weakness- know what can tick you off and know what can calm you down. You should be well versed of your own personality- decipher what is it that you really want.

It’s just sensible, if you are a nomad when it comes to your identity, you will always be at a lost in every relationship that you are going to have. Another relationship advice is to find someone who can love you for who you are. I think nobody can say (or sing) it better than Karen Carpenter "You got to love me for what I am for simply being me, don’t love me for what you expect or hope that I would be…" if your lover is unable to do this then he doesn’t love you at all.

To elaborate further with this relationship advice, find a lover that can accept your uniqueness, it helps to have a partner that can inspire you to be better, a lover that can make you reach your highest potential as a person and can bring out the goodness in you. Another relationship advice that can help on how not to lose yourself is have your own "self-time." This "time" is dedicated solely to feed your spirit and your soul.

In other words give yourself space where you can appreciate your own eccentricity. Further relationship advice that I can share with you with regard to this issue is to believe that you deserve to be loved. If you believe and lived this by heart you will not change who you are to please your partner and be able to grasp the fact that you can be loved in spite of your imperfections.

And you will be able to love freely and not hold back your intimacy to protect your vulnerability. And your togetherness will be free of any manipulations or power play and you will be able to keep your course in life and pursue your dreams. That is why if you want to have a lasting and meaningful love affair filled with contentment and happiness heed this relationship advice.