Fixing a Relationship after an Affair
- Author James Griffiths
- Published August 5, 2010
- Word count 513
An affair can do serious damage to any relationship. The affair could actually lead to the person who has it to simply leave and walk away with the new person, in which case trying to amend the original relationship will be much more difficult. However, if an affair is short lived, or just a one off ‘fling’, chances are that the original relationship is still salvageable. It certainly won’t be easy and may never feel the same again, but many couples somehow move on, and are able to completely restore what they had before, without the possibility of parting ways happening again.
If you or your partner has cheated and you want to carry on with your relationship, read on. If someone cheats on you, it is an awful thing to face, and you may well just want to walk away immediately and completely forget them. Other people may react differently and still want to make the relationship work but would need to know it will never happen again. Initial reactions you may have to your partner having an affair may not show your true beliefs, and you need time for the facts to sink in before you can know exactly what you want.
For any couple to make amends and heal any wounds, they both need to get over the shock and approach their relationship with a level head and a certain amount of maturity. Honesty plays an important part, especially for the person who did the cheating. Open communication is needed but at the same time, you need to know when the other person is not in the right frame of mind for honest, open communication and avoid raising difficult subjects just then.
Both people need to think carefully of the causes of the affair and the reasons why the relationship wasn’t as strong as it should have been. If a person continually blames the other, then little progress will be made. Looking at your own behavior and how it could have been different to prevent the affair happening in the first place will open up more possibilities to not only start afresh, but improve on what you had before. Any effort is worthless if you just end up in the same situation you were before. The last thing you want is for it to happen again.
If you did cheat, you are to blame. If someone did cheat on you, you are to blame too for a lack of effort on your part to make the relationship stronger. This may sound harsh but after an affair, the person who was cheated on can suddenly realize that they may have started to neglect their partner in some way. If both people do sit down and can actively listen to the other person and both want their relationship to be better, relationships can be amended, and can be even better than before. It’s ALWAYS worth trying, but both people must be committed to change and a cheater needs to work very hard to regain the other person’s trust.
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