Surviving A Break Up

Social IssuesRelationship

  • Author Ruth Purple
  • Published September 10, 2010
  • Word count 670

You’ll find that the hardest part about surviving break up is getting over this painful predicament to accept that there is someone else out there for you. As you ponder the thought "what if there’s no one?!" Then panic creeps up on you which make one think that surviving break up would be difficult.

All it takes is a little determination without making it look more like it’s out of desperation. Focus on your goal, what you want, given enough time, to find a better match for you. With the right amount of patience and persistence, you can shake off your notions that limit your choices and eventually find the right one.

When moving on after a break up you must reprogram the "you’re the only one for me" mentality. Admit it. You must have idealized your ex making it complicated in surviving break up. Even if you had your heart badly bruised. It’s easy to romanticize a relationship when it falls apart or possibly even long after it’s over.

This happens when you meet someone who fulfills all your desired soulmate qualities and yet does not deliver his soulmate potential which can create difficulty in surviving break up. Look at it this way, he may be cool but there’s a reason why the both of you had to go your separate ways because he just wasn’t right for you.

Though, the road to surviving break up may not be easy, the valuable thing about your previous relationship is that you’ve learned something from your man and that is knowing what you want when you move on after surviving break up. You aren’t doing this to shoulder all the blame for a love that didn’t work out but to take control of your future love life.

Take time to develop yourself and be the right one for a future someone. Once you’ve identified and embraced every part of your personality, you can put every trait you wish out into the world. You have the authority over you. If you think you’re a real beauty, men will follow your lead.

Take stock of your fabulous qualities and seek to be the best you can be. Now is the time to collect your dignity and try moving on after a break up. You’ve already learned your lesson about surviving break up. Now is the time to embrace a new vision with just you as the romantic lead.

Before you recognize a guy to be your potential man, you’ve got to know precisely what you want. You should consider different aspects of a possible mate’s life – personality, social skills, relationship style, spiritual compatibility and physical characteristics. You may not get all the characteristics but it’s always best to start with at least most of it being there.

This way, you can have a full picture of what you want. When you’ve gone through what you want in a guy and what you know you’ll not tolerate, you’ve got some ideas of your target…and you’ll find that the search will be a lot easier. As you duck into the dating scene, you’ll meet people whom you’ll be measuring up.

Through all these trial–and–error adventures, bear it in mind that the 100% candidate doesn’t exist. Instead of looking for the exact match, look for someone with 80% of what you want and the potential to grow. Agree to go out with a potential guy for just a couple of hours.

Two hours may not be enough to tell you whether you’ve found the right man but it’s enough to tell you haven’t. It also gives you an idea about the guy’s potential and either builds a successful set–up or gives a fair chance to other match. Surviving break up may not be that easy but it was a journey that one undergoes through self discovery.

The author of this article, Ruth Purple , is a Relationship and Dating Expert. Conquer Infidelity and Experience a Happier Love Life through her New eBook.

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