Breaking up can be extremely painful and, in the beginning, it likely that most of your communication with your ex is coming from a place of hurt. This is generally not a good place to be if you are asking how to win my ex back and rekindle our relationship. If you are begging, pleading and letting your ex know how helpless and miserable you are without them then you are probably driving them further away than ever. Whatever it is you are doing now, stop! By following these first steps, you can start to win your ex back and put your relationship on the road to recovery.

Firstly, it is time to accept the break up. We all resist the things that we don't want in life, but by staying in denial, you can damage your relationship further by your continued expectations. When you can accept that your ex has gone, you can start to rebuild your life. Let them know that you accept that it's over and are letting them go. This will take the pressure off both of you and give you both time to consider your options. Make sure that you look after yourself and take some time out to grieve.

After you tell them that you are letting them go, then let them go! Cut all contact and let them get on with their own life, whilst you get on with rebuilding yours. Of course, you will have urges to get in touch but you must not follow these through, otherwise you are going to look desperate. If you give them this space, they are almost certainly going to miss you and will start to remember some of the good things in your relationship. You will be showing them that you have moved on and are doing fine, which is bound to increase your value in their eyes.

Although it may feel counter intuitive to let them go in order to get them back, it is absolutely essential that you rebuild your self esteem and get back their respect for you. Once you are feeling happy and strong on your own, if you still have feelings for them, you can start to hatch a plan on how you can meet up again and what you should say and do to win them back.