At one point or another many couples are unfaithful. Sometimes it's only one partner, sometimes it's both. Human beings are not naturally monogamous, but are wired for more than one partner in life. Nevertheless, the social difficulties and energy requirements of maintaining multiple relationships long term as well as the jealousy and instability often involved, lead most people either consciously or unconsciously to seek a different course.

At times during this serial monogamy one partner is unfaithful. There are many reasons couples are unfaithful:

1. Incompatible sexual drives

Some couples find as they go along in their relationship that their sex drives are incompatible. The partner who has the higher sex drive is therefore generally denied the amount of sex he/she wants out of the relationship but is socially prohibited from going outside the relationship for additional sex.

Very often a person becomes resentful enough of this situation that he/she goes outside the relationship to fill in the gaps of what they are missing at home. At times the problem isn't amount of sex, but variety or particular sexual behaviors that they crave but their partner just isn't into. Faced with the options of leaving their partner to find a more sexually compatible mate, or cheating to get the itch scratched their partner won't, many find cheating to be the lesser evil.

2. Lack of emotional connection

Over time couples can grow apart. It's easy to get caught up in your own stuff and wake up ten years later to find that the person on the other side of the bed is a stranger. Because of this drifting, couples often find that they lack the same emotional connection they had before and seek it out in another person.

3. Lack of affection or appreciation in the relationship

With lack of emotional connection and growing apart often comes simple disregard. Hugs and kisses stop, the "I love you's stop," the "thank you honey, I appreciate that's" stop. When one partner feels undervalued they often will fall into the bed of another who makes them feel special and loved.

4. Eye attraction to another Person

Sometimes one partner just finds themselves attracted to another person. Often if their relationship is experiencing troubles or a dry spell of some sort, other people just become more attractive and the "grass is greener" syndrome kicks in.

Of course there are many reasons couples cheat. Seeing a cheating partner as irredeemably evil is usually unproductive. People cheat when they feel trapped, unloved, like their needs aren't being met, or are just generally unhappy. Often a partner really does love the other person but they aren't happy in a monogamous situation with them in which they can't explore any other options.

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