Today has been a great day! The kids are in daycare, the house is spotless, and you've completed the last errand on your list with time to spare! It happens so infrequently that you ask yourself what are you going to do with all that extra time, and after much deliberation you come up with the idea of a surprise lunch with your lover. You quickly get ready to go, hop into the car and merrily begin daydreaming about the look of surprise on his face when you show up at his office. He'll be thrilled to see you! Life has been so hectic lately that you really haven't had very much time with each other. Finally, you'll be able to talk, hold hands and simply enjoy each other's company. By the time you reach his building of employment, you're in such a state of bliss, and absolutely sure that nothing could ruin your good mood. That is until you see her.

Just as you're about to get out of your car you notice a tall, slender, beautiful woman leaving the building - with your man! Suddenly, all the happiness is sucked from your being, and you find it hard to breathe. Your mouth subconsciously goes from a radiant smile to a most appalling scowl. Who is this woman whom your lover has so easily forgotten to mention? Walking, laughing and smiling at the man whom is supposed love you and only you. The scene is grotesque; it makes you want to vomit. Your emotions are in turmoil, and you don't know how you should proceed. A thousand thoughts and desires flippantly circulate through your mind. However, despite every nerve in your body telling you to rush in, scream, yell and confront both your man and this tramp whom he is with, you decide that the more prudent action would be to think things carefully through.

This scenario may not be reflective of your relationship. However, it is a lot more common than you might presume. Many wives and girlfriends have reason to suspect, or have caught their significant other partaking in questionable activities, but are unsure of how to proceed and learn the truth. The woman in the story above has already taken the first step, which is to remain calm and look at things from an unemotional perspective.

Sure, you could get angry and confront your partner immediately, but chances are you will not resolve anything. For the most part, he will simply deny your accusations and then redouble his efforts to conceal his affair. Moreover, in some cases there may not be anything to worry about. For instance, the girl in the above story may be his cousin or sister. Of course, that's not very likely, but you get the picture. The last thing you want to do is "assume" that something is afoot and take immediate action. Instead, take the time to calm down and think things through logically. In this manner, you may very well avoid an unpleasant situation where you confront your lover when he has been nothing but faithful.

As we have seen, the first step in handling a potential cheater is to remain calm. Not only will it prevent you from jumping to conclusions, but also should he be cheating, it will alert him to the fact that he needs to be more careful in covering his tracks and concealing the affair.