Have you ever come across the situation when you sense your girlfriend, wife, or lover is not completely satisfied in bed? Or, worst still, she simply does not seem to be keen about sex at all? If this is something that you experience, then the bad news is this is probably a meaningful warning sign.

There are many reasons that sex in a relationship becomes less than perfect. When sex becomes as tasteless as plain water or when interest seems low, it is very often a reflection of other problems happening outside of the bedroom. Great sex can only happen if other more important aspects of the relationship are going well. Can you have great sex without love? Yes. Can you have great sex without the courage and confidence to build intimacy? I do not think so. Moreover, you will not have love without intimacy. What every woman craves is intimacy and excitement. So, how do you build the feelings of intimacy and excitement in a relationship?

Here are 7 ways you can do it:

(1) Look at what is happening outside the bedroom first

If there are issues cropping up in the relationship, do not hold grudges or trying to avoid them. You should face up to them and be open or upfront to your partner without being confrontational. When you need your partner to make some changes or to do certain things, you can frame your request in a complimentary way and avoid making it sound like a form of complaint. For example, you can say "I really like when you help me ___ (add in what you want your partner to do in the space) because it shows me how much you care for me and helps me to relax and enjoy our time together."

(2) Keep your ears open

Besides being open to each other, you also need to listen to each other. Sometimes women just want to vent their emotions. They only need their men to listen to them not for the purpose of trying to solve their problems. All they need is their partners’ care and attention.

(3) Set aside time for each other

Do not let schedules and day to day routines get in the way of having time together. Do schedule date nights or free time alone when the kids are not around or in bed. Or, it could be setting aside time to talk about anything you want. Spending time together is very important not only to an intimate sex life but also to the general health of your relationship.

(4) Do some extraordinary things together

This can help to inject some excitement into the relationship as well as showing your partner how much you care. Watch horror movies or romantic movies. Select movies you know that will light up your partner’s fire and watch it together. Or you can try riding a roller coaster or bungee jump. If this is too much for you and your partner, you can try other thing such as visiting an adult store to get those sex toys that both of you enjoy. Other possible options are sampling a cuisine you never tried or travelling to some unusual places together. Think of any activities which you can do together with her that can enrich your relationship. Sign up and enroll for that yoga or dance classes together.

(5) Set aside time for your own interests

Being married does not mean you need to stick to each other all the time like a piece of chewing gum. You should continue enjoying the activities and being with friends the way you did when you were single. You can cultivate some of your hobbies. You should not completely lose the person you were before you met your partner – after all that is the interesting aspect of you that initially attract her.

(6) Show that you care and value her

At times your spouse may have blurted out these words – what you only care about is sex! She feels that you are not caring much about her. This feeling can be overcome by doing the little things that may mean a lot to her. When she is cleaning the house or doing other household chores, you can relieve her workload by helping her in certain tasks. Surprise her at times with some small gifts, preferably if you can hand-made these gifts yourself. Compliment her for her accomplishments, the delicious dishes she prepares, her company and contributions to the relationship. Every woman wants to feel appreciated or to feel good about herself and you should not be stingy in expressing your appreciations verbally from time to time.

(7) Maintain eye contact and touch her non-sexually

When you look into her eyes as she talks to you, you are showing interests in what she says and paying attention to her. When you touch her not for the sake of initiating sex, you will make her feel wanted for more than just sex. This can simply be just cuddling, holding hands, kissing, massaging, etc.