When it comes to infidelity there are no easy answers, and anyone who promises them to you is lying. When we are betrayed on such a personal level we go through many different phases. An all consuming anger that will underline almost any emotion, a sense of loss that something has been broken. We begin to question our judgment, or perhaps we feel guilty and think the infidelity in the marriage was our fault.

It’s important to realize that the mental zone your in is not a good one for making any kind of decision. That’s why psychiatrists recommended you give yourself some space from your loved one, and give yourself time to process the affair. When you’ve had time to process your grief, you are often left wondering about what the future of your relationship is going to be.

People have been conditioned by society to open the yellow pages, and start looking for a lawyer. There are some truly courageous people though who want to save their marriage. The infidelity in marriage has cost them a lot, but when you get right down to it, they’re still in love with their partners.

The first thing you’re going to need to do is resist the impulse to simply ignore the entire thing, and try to shove it under the rug. This is merely your mind trying to prevent any more potential short term emotional pain, but the long term pain it will cost will be immeasurable.

If left untreated, this issue will remain an open wound in your marriage. It will be impossible to begin to rebuild the trust with your partner, if the core issues of why the infidelity happened in the first place aren’t addressed. Eventually in the midst of anger, or hurt it will be brought up again and it will act like a flamethrower on any process you make to rebuild your marriage.

So you might be asking yourself how you do go about fixing your marriage, and what the most critical factor is. The key factor is going to be to understand exactly why your partner committed the infidelity. It will be painful to hear, but only through understanding of the reasons can you begin to address them.

After the reasons have been brought into the open, you’re going to need to come up with a plan to address them. Sometimes this can be done on your own, and other times you might need to ask someone for advice. There is nothing wrong with this, and the information you gain might be the key to saving your marriage.

Dealing with infidelity is a long road, but there are plenty of couples who have survived this trauma and come out with marriages stronger than ever, and I hope if it happens to you that you become one of them.