Building Confidence by Stopping Thinking its Not Fair


  • Author Roseanna Leaton
  • Published May 3, 2011
  • Word count 591

Building confidence is actually an easier task than you might think. You just have to focus on how you view yourself and your life in a different way. One of the biggest barriers to building confidence is allowing yourself the questionable luxury of thinking "it's not fair" or "I didn't deserve that".

Forget all that stuff about having been dealt a poor hand. All that does is get you wallowing in self pity instead of working out a way in which to do something about your circumstances. It saps your energy and drains your confidence and enthusiasm. It gets in your way. It distracts you and takes you away from your purpose in life. It puts blinkers in the way of confidence, comfort, happiness and success.

Let's just accept the fact that everyone's life circumstances are different and unique to them. We are each on our own unique learning curve and some of us may appear to have a far easier or more comfortable life than others. But one thing for sure is that the happiest and most successful people don't think "it's not fair" whenever they come across a challenge in life.

Their confidence is built through tackling situations head on and working hard to achieve their goals. Instead of thinking "it's not fair that other's find things so easy" they work as hard as they can, motivated by the thought that if they work hard enough perhaps they will also end up that good. And as they try harder and work harder they reap the rewards in growing self esteem, self worth and a sense of building confidence.

Another thing for sure is that the neither the happiest nor the most successful people could usually be said to have come from the easiest start in life. In fact many would say that having what might be termed a deprived or difficult start in life is what provided them with the opportunity to grow, change, conquer and prosper. To not have things makes you really appreciate little things when they do come your way; you need far less to make you happy. You learn to feel happiness from within.

Once you get over the "it's not fair" attitude you are free to focus clearly upon your goals. Many people are scared however to let go of those thoughts. One of our biggest fears is that of failure. If you let go of the thought that you have been dealt a poor hand in life, then you leave yourself open to face the fear that you may fail; you have to face that fear of failure. Which is worse? A life spent terrified of failure or a life of bitterness as you obsessively dwell upon how unfair life is?

In reality the biggest failure is in fact to allow a fear of failure to stop you from trying. When you really think about it fear of failure and "it's not fair" are in fact completely intertwined. One is merely a self made up justification which allows you to avoid the other. They create the same effect; they stop you from trying. They cause your confidence and self esteem to wither and die, instead of building confidence as you stretch, grow and progress through the sheer act of trying.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in self hypnosis mp3 downloads for building confidence and to help achieve happiness and success in life.

P.S. Discover how easy it is to focus your mind with hypnosis; grab yourself a free hypnosis mp3 from my website now.

Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from and check out her hypnosis confidence mp3s and build confidence with hypnosis.

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