Trust is a core component of a thriving relationship. In order to carry out an affair, your partner must lie to you about his or her activities. You are either told a bold-faced lie, or the cheater might try to brush you off and hope that you don't suspect anything out of the ordinary. Whatever technique he or she uses, you have been lied to. You no longer trust your mate.

Can Marriage Survive Infidelity?

You have found out about the affair and are looking for ways to save your marriage. A key hurdle you may face involves learning how to trust your partner again. How are you going to know when you are being lied to again? Your heart will want to believe what your wife or husband is telling you, but somewhere in the dark shadows of your mind, you will have doubt or suspicion. Doubt and suspicion are two ingredients that will plague your marriage.

Key Steps to Regaining Trust

You need a way to allow your mate to regain your trust. There are no guarantees that your partner will not lie again, but you will need to give this person an opportunity to prove that he or she wants to save their marriage to you. This is going to take time and it is critical to take these two key steps:

Key Step #1: Do Not Hide Secrets

Your mate needs to be willing to share what he or she is doing at all times. If your partner is serious about restoring the marriage, then he or she will embrace the idea of letting you know where he or she is, what he or she is doing, and allow you to have access to personal devices such as his or her cell phone.

This does not make you a paranoid mate. Mistrust triggers emotional needs. These needs have to be met early on. Take advantage of this openness to put your mind at ease. Don't feel afraid to ask questions until you are satisfied with the answers. This will allow you to heal, and over time you feel more secure if your partner proves that he or she is not deceiving you.

Key Step #2: Identify Signs of Mistrust

Together, you must list the types of things that trigger mistrust. This will help the former cheating mate to avoid these triggers. These are a few samples:

"When you are supposed to be home around a certain time, and you don't show up until an hour or more later without calling me, it makes my mind wonder what you are doing with this time."

"When your phone rings, and you leave the room to talk with the person."

"When you are sitting in the corner and texting someone, and don't tell me who you are having a conversation with."

The cheating husband or cheating wife will need to reflect on how he or she behaved when trying to be dishonest. Most likely, the above triggers were indeed instances of when the partner had been keeping things from you. Your mate will need to put effort into avoiding these signs of mistrust.

Regaining Trust after an affair will take time and effort. Both spouses will need to adjust their conduct, be open and honest with each other and communicate. Trust is key if you want to remain married to each other.