What a man should say or do to get the sex he wants? This is probably the most-often thought about question that many men are trying to look for answers to. In a relationship, the flame of passion that both have in each other may run the risk of it flickering away and then goes off. However, you still can do something to rekindle your love life by experimenting with different ways to have sex. This will push the boundary of your current sexual relationship to uncharted territories that can reveal a sexual desire or interest you may not have known of before. The following tips may help spice up your sex life.

(1) Do not put undue pressure on her

Putting pressure on your partner to try something new usually does not work. You cannot force someone to do something and even if they do it just to please you; chances of them enjoying it are less than if they are doing it for their own interest or fun. You have to ease her into the fantasy zone by getting her acclimatized first, like whispering some sexy things in your partner’s ear.

(2) Set the ground rules

If you want to explore new sexual possibilities with your partner, it is a lot easier if both of you can agree beforehand that each side can ask for anything in a nicely manner and to take no for an answer. It helps a lot if both of you can work together to establish some ground rules before you get to propose anything new about sex.

(3) You lay the groundwork first

Whatever you want to try, make sure you know how to do it in a way that will be pleasurable and safe for both of you. If you want to try anal sex for example, make sure you know the safety tips and techniques to avoid painful anal sex. If you want to film your whole lovemaking act, make sure you explain clearly to your partner the rationale of doing it and how you are going to do it. For example, you can talk about your plan to inject some fantasies to this by filming this under the scenario of a kidnapper/hostage setting, letting her imaginations run wild, to get her gradually accept your idea.

The main point here is to arouse her mind and her body will follow. Going back to the example about filming the lovemaking process, people are not excited about watching their own-directed porn. But they like it because exhibitionism and voyeurism are two of the most important types of fantasy that capture both men’s and women’s imaginations.

(4) You let her to take control

Sometimes partners are put off or threatened by trying something new because they think it indicates something goes wrong in the relationship (that you are bored, that you are having an affair, that you are not interested in them anymore, etc). One way to overcome this is to give your partner control over your suggested activity or make her part of the process. When you include fantasy into lovemaking, you can get her to take charge of shopping for costumes, accessories and other items.

(5) Encourage her to share her fantasies with you

Get her to talk about her fantasies and the things that turn her on. Is it her as a cowgirl or you as the Batman? Is it being tied up or you doing the tying? Most important, be non-judgmental. Exploring a fantasy is all about making a woman feel that she is not a freaky pervert for having them. A study by the University of Vermont shows that nearly 25% of people feel guilty about their fantasies. So, you should encourage her to share her fantasies with you.

Brain scans of women during sexual arousal have shown that the areas of the brain that process fear, anxiety and emotion are nearly shut down. In other words, a woman needs to be completely and free of any anxiety in order to reach orgasm. Therefore if you want to have the best sex of your life, you introduce a fantasy or something new while she is deep in her comfort zone.