Most relationships have their share of ups and downs as couples move through different stages of a relationship, and many individuals will be pleased to know that it is not only natural, but also inevitable for relationships to go through these changes.

It is therefore important for couples to remember to guard their relationships at all times against those constant lows which may lead to relationship break- ups. Avoiding a relationship problem is often easier than trying to fix it.

Relationships do survive ups and downs however, if both partners are willing to admit that they need to consciously work on their relationship. This year as TV presenters Richard and Judy ¬celebrate their silver wedding –anniversary, after all their speculations over divorce, ‘boozing and dealing with a delinquent daughter’, we are reminded that our relationships can stand strong and survive whatever challenges we may encounter.

Couples often go through a stage where they sometimes feel like love has flown out the window. For these couples, they feel like things are not as wonderful and exciting as they once used to be. Sometimes, partners may feel disappointed as though the other partner had failed them. In this type of situation it is important that both partners realise that all relationships go through these highs and lows as it progresses onto another stage. Whatever ‘downs’ a relationship may be going through, it is important to remember that if both partners hang in there and persevere, they will overcome those problems in their relationships.

Once couples are aware of the different stages of a relationships and how it affects them, each partner is often able to identify, for example, that they are experiencing a power struggle stage in their relationship. Partners often act out this stage through arguments and subtle competitions. Either partner may also feel moody, and have the feeling that they had never been in love.

Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, author of ‘Keep Love Growing Through All The Ups And Downs’, has provided guidance through for couples during these different stages and changes that a relationship goes through. ‘It does not mean that the love has gone away. That is a mistaken idea of what love is. We simply have to know what love is, and how to keep it growing, through all the ups and downs’.

It is not only important for us to be aware of the different stages that a relationship goes through, but also, to remember that we all experience them differently. Some couples may move between romance and power struggle as individuals, and at different paces compared to their other partner. Having the insight into these stages will ensure that, as a couple, you are able to identify vulnerable times in your relationship so that you are aware that there are issues that need to be addressed. Seeking help and advice in this area will help couples to overcome their relationship problems and difficulties.

Whatever stage a couple is in their relationship, if they are able to learn to nurture and overcome the lows, they will be one stop closer to fulfilment.