This article is going to look at some of the most common problems that clients bring to relationship counselling. For each problem tips will be suggested that might be of help to the couple involved. So here are some common problems:

1. We no longer seem to talk to each other

In many relationships the main issue is that communication has broken down between the couple. This can be for any number of reasons. Perhaps they have both got so tied up in the things they have to do separately that this aspect of the relationship has been neglected. Perhaps due to work pressures or keeping up with the children’s schedules there isn’t enough time.

One way to remedy this situation is to make time to be with each other. Introduce sessions where each of you can have some time to say how you are feeling whilst the other listens without interrupting. This all helps to bring back communication into the relationship, the benefits of which will soon be apparent.

2. One of us has had an affair

This can be one of the most devastating experiences that can happen in any relationship. The one who has had the affair will probably be feeling very guilty and the other will probably be feeling very angry, betrayed and hurt. This can create a situation where one person is bending over backwards to show that they are trustworthy whilst the other feels they cant trust that it wont happen again.

In this situation it is important to try and understand why the affair happened in the first place. If you can’t understand why things went wrong then you won’t be able to ensure that it won’t happen again. This means talking very honestly about your relationship before the affair began. Both of you will have to take responsibility for your part in this. This can be a painful process which needs to be done so that trust can be built up again.

3. We are arguing all the time

Some relationships can feel like a war. Constant arguing or bickering can make living with each other a nightmare. Of course some disagreements or conflict is inevitable in all relationships and in most cases can be a healthy clearing the air or opportunity to work through things. However it is often the aftermath or the consistency that causes distress for some couples.

What can be helpful in this situation is to consider why you are arguing. Is there something bigger in the background that needs to be addressed? Sometimes when we are arguing about who does the washing up it is a symptom of some bigger conflict that needs to be discussed. Try to identify the main issues that you have and try to talk about them when you are not feeling tired or stressed as these states can intensify feelings. Once you have managed to sort these issues out in a more rational way the bickering should calm down.

These are just a few of the most common problems couples face in their relationships. There are of course many others. If these tips do not help then perhaps it is time to contact a counsellor to arrange to have some relationship counselling.