Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down

Social IssuesSexuality

  • Author George Bestsecks
  • Published December 1, 2007
  • Word count 906

Depending on you and your companion-for-the-moment’s interests, you may want to explore something more than just the "plain vanilla" sex practices from time to time. If you are new to trying anything fancier than some position other than missionary, I suggest starting with some light bondage as a fun way to spice things up.

Now for some people the word "bondage" brings vision of chains and shackles, or at the very least, rough-hewn ropes cutting into the skin, but lighter forms of bondage can be quite comfortable and don’t require a building permit to construct a dungeon in your home.

The first thing to consider with bondage, particularly if you aren’t looking to go heavy into the dungeon theme, is what you will be using to do the bondage with. I recommend choosing bindings that can be released by the bond-ee in case of an emergency. After all, most accidents occur in the home, and you never know what could happen to the bond-er after the bond-ee is bond-ed, and situations could arise where the bond-ee needs to get out of the bindings quickly on his or her own. With this in mind, I recommend a couple of options. First, handcuffs designed for sex play usually come with a release lever so the cuffs can be undone without the key and usually with a minimal amount of effort by the person in the cuffs. Another good option is restraints with velcro closures, as these can usually be opened by the bond-ee by pulling the tabs with their teeth (make sure to set the bindings just long enough for this to be possible). Finally, almost any type of binding can be used if it can be pulled loose or untied by the bond-ee (again, keeping the binding in range of the mouth so things can be untied or pulled loose using the teeth is a good plan).

Once you figure out what you will use for your bondage play, the next thing to figure out is where to do it. The most comfortable location is usually on a bed, and the bed legs and/or headboard make convenient anchor points for the bindings. Another possible location is having the bond-ee tied up on the floor, with furniture as the anchor points for the bindings. If you want to get extra-adventurous, bondage outside using a tree or stable structure can be very exciting, but be sure to choose a location where you cannot be seen (particularly by children) and where you will not run into trouble with law enforcement personnel. It’s also a good idea to check and make sure the area is clear of ants and stinging insects, poison ivy, etc., otherwise things could get VERY unpleasant!

Now that you’ve figured out what type of bindings you’re going to use and where to use them, you need to figure out who is going to be the bond-ee and who is going to be the bond-er. Both roles can be fun, and so you might want to take turns, if not on the same date, on different occasions.

If your date is the one being bound, make sure she’s comfortable (or not, if that adds to her excitement), and that she can get free from the bindings on her own if she needs to. Once you have everything set up, she’s at your mercy, and it is a lot of fun building her anticipation of what you are going to do. You can do all sorts of things depending on your (and her) particular interests. Blindfolding her is often a good start, as this intensifies the anticipation. You could stimulate her any number of ways, using sex toys, a feather, oral sex, etc.. Your could run an ice cube across sensitive areas of her body. You could take pictures (I recommend you have permission to do this in advance). You could build anticipation by telling her all the nasty things you’re going to do. It’s all up to you. Well, you and her - remember, even though she’s "at your mercy" you need to be a bit careful in these situations particularly if you don’t know her all that well. Be sure you know the difference between the "No" that means "YES!" and the "No" that means "NO!".

Also remember that if you agree to switch roles from time to time, anything you do to her when she’s tied up may be visited upon you when the roles are reversed. When you’re the one tied up, just relax and enjoy the anticipation of not knowing exactly what is going to happen. Again, be sure that you can get out of the restraints on your own if you need to. This is especially true if you’ve just met your date, because there are some freaky women out there. A friend of a friend (yes, it’s one of those stories that may or may not be true) found himself naked and handcuffed to a radiator - with REAL handcuffs, and his date intentionally left him there by himself until the next day. So, once again the cardinal rule of bondage when you are the bond-ee is to make absolutely sure you can free yourself if you need to.

Be imaginative and have fun with your bondage experiences. A little kink will do you good!

George Bestsecks is the webmaster of GuideToSexDatingSites.com. For more information, go to

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