The Art of Unhooking the Bra

Social IssuesSexuality

  • Author Scooter Trement
  • Published January 16, 2008
  • Word count 791

Has this ever happened to you?

You meet a girl, hit it off, and in an hour or two you have her moaning unabashedly while you’re kissing her neck and you're trying to figure out how to unhook her bra.

Next scene: she’s out the door, and you’re staring into space, mentally kicking yourself for failing in what clearly seems to be a problem among the male population: the difficulty in unhooking your girl’s bra.

In the past, I’ve had difficulties and kicked myself for being such klutz, but with a bit of research and a whole lot of practice, I’ve been snapping and unhooking those bras with a very small rate of failure ever since. Although it would be great to have her tearing her clothes off – bra included - more often than not, it’s you - yes, you the man – who has to free her from her boob-y traps.

But first, you have to know the enemy: the bra.

What the heck is that contraption that has made your life a living hell?

According to the great resource, the WIKIPEDIA, the Bra or the brassiere, "is an article of clothing that covers, supports, and elevates the breasts". It evolved from the corset (respect to the men of the middle ages who had to deal with the corset!), and is used mainly as an undergarment unless you’re Madonna who’s made bras out of cones.

Browse a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and you’ll be amazed at the kinds of bras splashed on the pages but no matter how padded or how plunging it is, or how hot Adriana Lima is - it all seems trivial to the case at hand: whether or not the clasp is in front or at the back.

Front clasps are pretty easy to remove, even the ladies will agree – but the process is awkward since it’ll be obvious to the lady in front of you that you want some under the shirt action (note to self: make sure she’s given you ALL the signs she wants some action too)

Now the back clasp – that’s a different story all together.

Two ways to Unhook a Bra

There are two ways to unhook a bra: the two handed method, and the ever popular, but hard to master, one handed method.

The Two Handed Method

Using your left hand, grab the eyes side (where the hooks latch on), and with your right hand grab the other side – the hook. Pull both ends together to loosen the hooks, and then twist your right hand (still holding the hooks) to about 45 degrees, and voila, her bra is unhooked.

The One Handed Method

Many have tried, but only few are successful (judging on the amount of resource material available on the internet). The One Handed Method requires practice, dexterity of hands, and full knowledge of what lies beneath her shirt. No amount of blah blah can substitute the real thing, so here's a video for you to learn from.

A few tips when unhooking her bra:

  • Make sure she’s given you signs she wants you to remove her bra. If she shows no resistance when you graze or touch her breasts while still wearing her shirt (at least two times), there’s a big chance she’ll allow the removal of her bra.

  • Women are victims of their own boob-y traps – they also have a difficult time removing or putting on their bras, so if you fumble the first time, don’t lose hope. Distract her by kissing her ears, or biting her neck, and start once again.

  • Practice on a friend, preferably a girl. Practice on a chair, a single couch, on a teddy bear. Like all other skills, practice makes perfect.

  • No means no. If she shows resistance when you first try to unhook her bra, stop and continue to distract her. If after a while you try to do it again, and she still resists, then by all means, stop. It may not be your lucky night after all.

  • Make her WANT to do it.

There’s nothing sadder in the world than to see a guy fumbling to unhook a girl's bra. Don’t you envy those who have accessed the goods trapped beneath those bras, and have since being doing this to a hundred of bra-wearing ladies? (some don’t wear bras) If women can practice on popsicle sticks to give you the best head of your life, then you should be able to return the favor and snap those hooks in seconds.

Practice, practice, practice - and you may well be on your way of perfecting the art of unhooking a bra.

Scoot has a love for films - the more obscure the better, sneakers, music, women and the latest, shiniest gadgets

Know more of what's on his mind at [http://scoot30.vox.com](http://scoot30.vox.com)

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