3 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep
- Author Jorge Larva
- Published February 7, 2008
- Word count 777
I was in the ninth grade when I learned a vital lesson about love. My girlfriend at the time, Amy, was stunningly cute, frighteningly smart and armed with a seemingly endless supply of form-fitting angora sweaters. And me? Let's just say I was an adolescent Chris Robinson to her budding Kate Hudson -- and well aware of my good fortune.
Then one day, as we stood in line for a movie at the mall, Simone Shaw, junior high prom queen, sauntered by. Suddenly Amy turned to me. "Were you looking at her?" she asked. "Do you think she's pretty?"
My mind reeled. Of course I was looking at her! Of course she was pretty! My God, she was Simone Shaw! I paused for a second, then decided to play it straight.
"Well, yeah," I chortled.
Five days later our breakup hit the tabloids (a.k.a. the lunchroom).
There comes a time in every man's life when he discovers the value of hiding the grosser parts of his nature. He starts reciting the sweet nothings you long to hear: "No, honey, I play golf for the exercise." "No, honey, I think you're a great driver." "No, honey, I wasn't looking at that coed washing the car in the rain."
We're not lying, exactly. We're just making things...easier. But Glenn Good, Ph.D., a relationship counselor, disagrees, and maybe he has a point. "These white lies are pretty innocent, but they can turn confusing," he says. "Many women think, If he's lying about himself, is he also lying about something else? Is he having an affair? To establish trust you have to tell the truth about the innocuous stuff."
And so, in the interest of uniting the sexes, we've scoured the country for guys willing to share the private truths they wouldn't normally confess. Some are a bit crass. Some you've always suspected. Some are surprisingly sweet. (Guys don't like to reveal the mushy stuff, either.) But read on, and you may discover that the truth about men isn't all that ugly.
Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day, but it doesn't mean we want to leave you
If the oldest question in history is "What's for dinner?" the second oldest is "Were you looking at her?" The answer: Yes, yes, we were. If you're sure your man doesn't look, it only means he possesses acute peripheral vision.
"When a woman walks by, even if I'm with my girlfriend, my vision picks it up," says Doug LaFlamme, 28, of Laguna Hills, California. "I fight the urge to look, but I just have to. I'm really in trouble if the woman walking by has a low-cut top on."
Granted, we men are well aware that our sizing up the produce doesn't sit well with you, given that we've already gone through the checkout line together. But our passing glances pose no threat.
"It's not that I want to make a move on her," says LaFlamme. "Looking at other women is like a radar that just won't turn off."
Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you
More than 21 million American men play at least one round of golf a year; of those, an astounding 75 percent regularly shoot worse than 90 strokes a round. In other words, they stink. The point is this: "Going golfing" is not really about golf. It's about you, the house, the kids and the absence thereof.
"I certainly don't play because I find it relaxing and enjoyable," admits Roland Buckingham, 32, of Lewes, Delaware, whose usual golf score of 105 is a far-from-soothing figure. "As a matter of fact, sometimes by the fourth hole I wish I were back at the house with the kids screaming. But any time I leave the house and don't invite my wife or kids whether it's for golf or bowling or picking up roadkill I'm just getting away."
Secret #3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you
This is a dicey one, so first things first: We love you to death. We think you're fantastic. Most of the time we're absolutely thrilled that we've made a lifelong vow of fidelity to you in front of our families, our friends and an expensive videographer.
But most of us didn't spend our formative years thinking, "Gosh, I just can't wait to settle down with a nice girl so we can grow old together." Instead we were obsessed with how many women who resembled Britney Spears we could have sex with before we turned 30. Generally it takes us a few years (or decades) to fully perish that thought
Read more at Todo en Medicamentos.
Rate article
Article comments
There are no posted comments.
Related articles
- Christian Counseling A Unique Approach to Counseling
- Navigating the Labyrinth: UK Spouse Visa Requirements in 2025
- What Makes A Strong Marriage?
- Experience Marriage Therapists Could be the Difference You Need
- Nuptial day duties extraordinaire
- “MEND THE MARRIAGE”
- Top Wedding Destinations: The Best Places to Say "I Do"
- Your Ultimate Guide to Wedding Season: When, Where, and How to Plan the Perfect Celebration
- Extramarital Affair & Gaslighting !
- Fundamental Attribution Error in Divorce Mediation
- 15 Frugal Tips for a Memorable Wedding Day
- Exquisite Nuptials Abroad: A Romantic Odyssey Through the Charm of France, Italy, and Spain
- The woman who looked down on her husband: African Folklore, a Story my Father Told me
- Embrace the Magic of Jamaica for Your Special Day
- Top 5 Tips to a Picture-Perfect Valentine's Day Wedding
- Easy Wedding Photography at SF City Hall
- Navigating the Storm: Living with a Narcissistic Spouse and the Challenges of Self-Centered Relationships
- What are the things that you need to know about Engagement Rings
- Audio Guestbooks taking the wedding industry by storm
- Unveiling the Beauty of Wedding Photography: Eternalizing Precious Moments
- Common Mistakes to Avoid in the Spousal Sponsorship Process
- Tips on Hiring the Perfect Wedding Photographer
- Beyond the Bedroom: How Fulfilling Sexual Experiences Can Impact Men’s Overall Quality of Life
- Finding Your Marriage Celebrant
- Famous Celeb Weddings in 2022 and Just Around the Corner
- Ask Me Anything: 10 Answers to Your Questions About Wedding rings
- The Best Rings for a Witch or Wizard!
- How many people should I invite to a wedding?
- Weddings in the USA vs. UK
- The Best Eco-Friendly Wedding Rings