Most of us have many dreams about what relationships will be

like or should be like. We’ve lived with these dreams forever,

so when the real thing happens, and we find ourselves in a

relationship reality can be quite a shock. Some people feel

tricked, trapped or like failures. Others do everything under

the sun to change their partner, change themselves, or figure

out why their marriage is different from the way they thought it

would be.

The first step in truly understanding relationships, however, is

to realize that what we dream about or imagine, is not

necessarily what is going to happen to us. And that doesn’t mean

there is something wrong with ourselves or our relationship. It

just means that we didn’t know what to truly expect.

Today, I am going to provide you with some free relationship

advice in the form of six facts that no one ever told you about

relationships that is important for you to understand. These

principles a have provided marriage help by helping others

discover that your relationship can heal naturally when certain

core issues are understood.

Number 1) Relationships are not static.

They can, will and must change. No two people stay the same

during the course of a life time. Their needs, wishes, and

interests vary. It is unreasonable to expect that relationship

partners will always grow and change in the same ways, at the

same time. This has to be accepted and included in the

relationship. It is not necessary for the two of you to always

think the same way, like the same things, or be in the same

place at the same time. Just because you may have different

tastes or interests doesn’t mean that the two of you aren’t in

love. For relationships to remain vital and healthy it is

necessary to have a core of mutual interests, activities and

desires, but, it is also crucial to make room for differences

between you. This doesn’t necessarily mean you are growing

apart. It may just mean that you are growing, and will have even

more love and understanding to bring to your partner in the long

run.

Number 2) Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication and

infatuation necessarily wax and wane.

Many people expect to feel "in love" with their partner on a

daily basis. By this they mean having romantic feelings of

excitement and infatuation, feeling as though they can’t wait to

see the person, and miss them if they’re gone. These individuals

must learn the crucial difference between loving a partner and

being "in love". Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication

and infatuation necessarily wax and wane. There are times they

appear and are very enjoyable -other times they fade into the

background. This does not mean something is wrong or that you do

not love each other. Love is not based upon fluctuating

feelings, but upon a solid foundation of mutual respect,

consideration and communication. Although it is wonderful and

important to set aside time for romantic time together, the

daily on-goingness of life requires a much deeper understanding

of what it means to truly love. Love is often tested in the

fire, and frequently sacrifice is needed. In order to truly

love, one must grow as a person, and that is what relationships

are for – to help us grow in our ability to discover what love

really is..

Number 3) Love is not dependency.

It’s all right to be who you are, be different from him, have

friends and activities of your own. It’s also all right, to give

him time with his friends and private space. Love always

includes trust of the other, and the knowledge that the more

your partner is able to enjoy others, the more he will be able

to enjoy being with you. The less you suffocate and possess him,

the more he will want to be with you. The less you let him

suffocate you, the more you will love him and the more he will

respect you. It’s fine to be two, separate, whole people. From

that basis, a lot of love can grow.

Number 4) Being angry doesn’t mean you do not love each other.

Some feel that as soon as they are angry with their partner or

their partner is angry with them the love has gone out the

window. Of course, if anger goes on for too long, or is not

dealt with properly, it certainly can erode the quality of a

relationship. But being angry is not a sign that he doesn’t love

you, or you him. It is simply a sign that it is time for good,

open, honest, careful communication to take place. If you are in

need of marriage help, remember, on-going communication is the

heart and soul of every good relationship.

When we bottle up our needs and feelings and pretend to be who

we are not, then all that has been hidden will explode through

anger. But, when we recognize anger, irritation or resentment as

it arises, and freely discuss our needs or responses with our

partner, not only does the anger diminish, but our relationship

grows closer. Take anger as a sign that you are being an

opportunity to communicate more and know each other better. Let

it make you closer, not further apart.

Number 5) Even though you’re together all the time, you still

must make time for one another.

Actually, you must actually carve out more time for each other

when you live together. Living together it’s easy to take one

another’s presence for granted. But just because the person is

there physically, does not necessarily mean you’re sharing

quality time. Children, errands, pressures at work and social

obligations can create a whir of activity, but not intimate time

between the two of you. Carve out intimate time when the two of

you are alone. Go some place special. Make time to talk and hug.

Make time to have fun alone. This is a wonderful refresher to

every marriage and should be done at least weekly.

Number 6) Being together for a long time doesn’t have to take

the magic away.

My final piece of free relationship advice in this article is

this: (I have many more free articles and resources which deal

with overcoming relationship problems at your disposal) It’s

wonderful to have someone at your side, who you share

experiences with year after year. There is no way to replace a

person who you’ve gone through many years with, sharing common

experiences and memories. The sense of continuity and trust that

can develop between you is a jewel. It is wonderful to wake up

each morning, knowing this person is at your side. As the years

pass you know each other better and better, whatever happens you

both know there is someone there for you, who understands what

you are going through. As our ability to share grows, the

burdens of life diminish greatly, and the joys intensify as well.