Do you adore your partner? Does your partner adore you? Well, if you have a Love by Design relationship, both partners will adore each others like crazy. It will be a mutual adoration. It will be a wonderful, wonderful experience. In this Love by Design article, we are going to talk a little bit about adoration. Adoration is wonderful experience; it can also be a dual edge sword. If adoration is expressed in certain situations it can be cause lot damage. However, ideally if you have a Love by Design relationship you will experience adoration, you will be adored and you will adore your partner.

We have talked to many people over the years who are dying inside to have the love of their life. There are people who are in relationships who are living lives of quiet desperation. They go to bed at night, or get up in the morning or think during the day, is that all there is? They have this empty feeling that they are missing their fulfillment, they are missing someone who loves them, someone who meets their needs, someone who gives them the love they want in the way they want it. I remember when I was in a relationship with Lucie, (the last major relationship I had before Melody.) I once said to her, “Can you get excited when I come home?” She said “If you want excitement get a dog, they will jump up and down and make a big deal about you coming home.”

Many men and women who are in relationships that are not getting the attention they want , the love they want, the sex they want, the life and vision that they want tend to have affairs.

If you analyze people who have affairs, what is the big draw? Many times the people that they are having affairs with are not as pretty or attractive as their partners. What it gets right down to is that these people are totally jazzed about the person they are having an affair with or the person who is having the affair with is totally jazzed about them. They adore them, they give them a lot of attention, and they are meeting the many needs that their partner isn’t. Many people who have affairs come from an environment, a marriage or a relationship environment where they are being criticized, where they are being put down, invalidated, being dismissed, being ignored, being taken for granted and/or they are being told that they are not a big deal. Their flaws are pointed out, they are laughed at. There are jokes made, or there is emptiness or there is separation, it is like two people living as roommates. Some people are passing like ships in the night or they are focused on the kids or focused on their work , or focused on the house, or the renovations or the cleaning or focused on the yard work or focused on the relatives or the visiting, or the friends or the hunting or the fishing or the drinking or the drugs or the television or the internet or this or that.

So many people are living lives of quiet desperation and not so quiet desperation. They are living empty lives. For many people, their relationship is a sham. They look good together, but when the door closes, it is dead silence. There is no communication, there is no repoire, there is no intimacy, and there are no visions or sharing of thoughts and dreams. They don’t feel like they are a team, they don’t feel like they are on the same page. They don’t feel like they are working together, they feel like two independent people, going in different directions. It is very empty, that is not a Love by Design Relationship.

A Love by Design relationship is one where your partner adores you, they love you, they are excited about you.

Now some of you may be pursuing your soulmate. You think someone is your soulmate and you are pursuing them. And you say I am adoring him. Now the only one caveat about adoration is that adoration is a dual edged sword. Unwanted adoration is very much a turn off for somebody. So actually in situations where you are adoring people, and they are not interested in you and do not want your adoration, your best bet is to go the opposite way or to have nothing to do with them because of that.

Now a lot of people are trapped by loving somebody or being infatuated by somebody because of attraction, some sexual, emotional or some sort of chemistry yet in terms of a relationship they are not available or they are not suited for you. But people are blinded by that and they feel if they keep adoring them and keep loving them and keep trying and trying, that will do it. That is called relationship addiction or relationship obsession. That doesn’t work long-term for people.

So what you want is mutual adoration in a relationship that is a Love by Design relationship and a Love by Design relationship is a relationship that is a mutual filling of needs above the love, attraction, friendship, fun, trust, mortgage, commitment and kids. This is where your emotional, mental needs are met, your lifestyle needs are met, your values and visions are met. You are compatible in your communication modes, and your personalities blend well on and on and on that is what a Love by Design relationship is. And once you have that compatibility and both of you are functional, that you are shooting that love energy and that adoring energy back and forth on all the different channels and all the different areas.