Depression affects ever imaginable part of your life. It has negative effects on important things like your success with employment, your social life, and even your physical health and appearance. One thing that being depressed has an absolute knack for ruining, is your relationships with others...especially romantic ones.

If you're seriously depressed, it feels almost impossible to care about anyone but yourself. In my experiences, I've been able to really love someone, but when it came down to it I was looking out for my own feelings first. I still have trouble grasping the whole idea of empathy. I mean, I'll feel like I should really care or feel bad about certain situations, when really it's not striking any emotional chords. I end up being even more depressed because I hurt their feelings. I'll end up feeling bad for not feeling bad.

One way I've found to deal with it is to simply act accordingly. If I act, in certain situations, like I know I would normally act if I wasn't feeling so down, things end up going much more smoothly. Later, when I have time to think about it, the whole thing finally starts to sink in and I really do feel the way I made myself act. Hopefully that made sense. I kind of confused myself when I was writing it.

It may seem fake and I may sound like a jerk, but it's not like I don't care about the person. I just don't want to hurt them by making them think I don't care. When really, after my mind is cleared a little and the fog lifts, I realize how much I really do care and love them. Don't get me wrong, it still makes me feel horrible but at that point in time, I really can't understand what they're trying to make me feel. So I postpone the reaction until I can think more clearly.

Another thing I've found that helps, is to pause things before they explode into something unwanted and irrational. If things are getting out of hand in an argument and you know in the back of your mind that the whole basis for it is ridiculous or it's just not worth the emotional stress it's causing...end it. Say "Sweetheart, this is getting out of hand. We'll end up hurting each other over something that's not even that important. We should just take a little break for a half-hour or an hour to gather our thoughts and calm down." If you do that, you'll come back to your partner refreshed and much more tolerant and understanding. The way you should be in a relationship, in my opinion.

Those are just a few tips on how to deal with and help your relationships if you're suffering from depression. They're not too advanced or technical, just ways I'm coping until I'm able to find a real cure for the way I feel.