Being successful in the game of making up relies a lot on how you conduct yourself in the initial stages if you're the one who's been dumped.

Being dumped is a strong way of describing someone who is spurned in a relationship but really, there is no other way of looking at it. How you react will determine whether there is a path leading back to the door of your ex and the truth is, most kill any chance of this happening simply by reacting in a panicky and desperate fashion.

This is a time for cool heads because one of the unattractive traits of human behavior is desperation. Sure, you need a little understanding and sympathy but the simple fact is, it portrays a sign of needy behavior and weakness. And these are not the traits your ex will be looking for when they've had time to clear their head.

Here are some of the emotions you need to keep in check following a break up in which you've been spurned:

• contain the emotion of despair or feeling sorry for yourself

• avoid talking to the family and friends of your ex about the way you feel and what it's doing to you emotionally

• under no circumstances criticize or put your ex down to their family and expect to get a fair hearing

The Magic Of Making Up

Feeling as if you've been hard done by is a natural reaction to being dumped but you need to realize that with a switch in attitude, you can quickly turn things around.

For all the reasons we've mentioned that will harm your chances of getting back with your ex, acting the opposite can only help your chances of a reconciliation.

There is a fine line between being liked and disliked and the fact is, people are attracted to those who display a fair degree of confidence. In other words, don't act desperate, needy and clingy.

Act confident and be happy with yourself. This will be recognized instantly by others including the family and friends of your ex and guess what, eventually it will get back to your ex.

Put it this way, if you walk around acting like you don't like yourself then how do you expect your ex to like you. Think about this and it's one of your best weapons in the magic of making up.