Kenneth loved Cindy deeply. Yet, his self-doubt brought her great pain. Cindy could not keep any male friends. Kenneth eavesdropped on her calls and followed her around town. As time went by, Kenneth became more controlling. Cindy loved him but his love was fatal. Cindy was trapped in a suffocating relationship.

The Story

Are you in a suffocating relationship? Do you exist in a jealous relationship? Your husband? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Do you find yourself being attacked on a routine basis? Communicating with a jealous individual can create an unhealthy environment. This article is not about those individuals engaged in improper behavior and being caught. This article is about innocent individuals, living in an environment of no trust. What is jealousy? According to the Free Dictionary, jealousy is defined as fearful or wary of being supplanted; it is an apprehensive of losing affection or position. In fact, jealousy is often leads to resentment or bitterness. Fear is defined as a painful emotion excited by apprehension of impending danger or dread. What happens when fear and jealousy come together? It isn’t good. George Eliot said, "Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love." Bob Marley added, "Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!" Clearly, jealousy creates some strong, illogical emotions. How do you cope in this situation?

This article isn’t about that crazy jealousy that causes people to be obsessive to the point of destruction. In my own neighborhood while going up, we see this insanity. You hear it all the time where a jealous boyfriend murders his girlfriend and kills himself. His words often haunt society, "If I can’t have you, no one can." If you are in this type of relationship, get out and move to safety. Our discussion deals with a mild case of jealous that is annoying in a relationship. It’s this kind of take continual accusations have severe consequences over time. This is not an article to make you feel guilty for the year. Rather, this is an article to help foster better communications and decision-making in a relationship.

A Reasonable Step

In most situations, jealous people don’t want to be reasonable or logical. Talking about a person’s jealous behavior is asking for confrontation. The individual often shifts the discussion to something else. However, it places you on the defensive and makes for bad dialogue. Clearly, no one needs to be put in a situation where the person is that unstable. Sadly, many people spend their lives trying to explain why they are faithful to another person. It can be a losing process. The jealous individual is often insecure about themselves and this is taken out on a loved one, no matter how much the loved one affirms this person. Trust is always a concern.

Over the long-term, no relationship will be healthy if the other person is in a constant state of jealousy or fear. Do you want to avoid the endless fights and accusations? If so, here are some suggestions:

Simple Steps

1. Get the individual to discuss their jealous feelings to you.

2. Re-examine your actions to determine if they are appropriate with others.

3. Ask a trusted friend to provide an objective view of the situation.

4. Seek to avoid placing yourself in compromising positions that could be interpreted differently.

5. Get professional advice if the situation continues to get worse.

6. Accept your situation if you can’t change it.

7. Have faith and create a better situation.

The Path Forward

Building meaningful relationships isn’t an easy thing to do. Jealousy is an emotional process, not logical one. Sadly, many individuals who deal with a jealous mate try to justify their mates’ actions. Do you recognize how jealousy and fear are related? Clearly, true love doesn’t operate in fear. This can be clearly seen biblically. In 1 John 4:18, the Bible declares, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." Real love is not about control. Therefore, you shouldn’t let the ugliness of jealousy destroy your happiness. Commit yourself to meaningful relationships today and leave the bitterness behind. The clock is ticking.