Why Elope?

FamilyMarriage

  • Author Maureen Thomson
  • Published September 30, 2008
  • Word count 744

Let's preface this article by saying that I am unashamedly biased in favor of eloping. That is not to say that we don't advocate (and love) larger gatherings. At Lyssabeth's we see the joy in celebrating all kinds of commitments of love, be they an intimate ceremony for two on the beach, a 500+ gathering of your closest friends at the swankiest hotel in town, or a picnic wedding party in the park. What we don't want is anyone being married at a gathering that stresses their nerves, their budget, or simply is not a reflection of who they are as a couple. If a big wedding isn't for you, then don't be pressured into having one.

If you're reading this, it just might be because you are considering the idea of eloping and need just the smallest nudge to do it. Perhaps you are in the midst of planning the big event and finding it is spiraling out of control (who knew there were so many details?). Maybe the wedding planning is so all-consuming that you are finding it next to impossible to spend quality time with your sweetie. Maybe you find yourselves squabbling over the petty details. Or find yourself planning the wedding of your mother's dreams, but not your own. Perhaps expenses are mushrooming out of control and you have this nagging feeling that the money could be put to a better use than a one day extravaganza.

Or maybe the planning process hasn't even started yet, but you know in your heart of hearts that a big wedding is not who you are. You want your commitment to one another to be simple and pure and just between you--not having 150 pairs of eyes boring into you as you commit yourself for life. But you know that your family and friends will be upset if you chose to elope. It takes courage to inform them that you will be marrying in a way that is opposed to their pre-conceived notion of what your ceremony should be. But being married also takes courage, so you might as well practice while you can. I've yet to hear anyone say they regretted eloping, but I have heard many couples bemoaning all the fuss and expense that went into their large wedding celebration.

Here are ten more reasons that will help convince you if you're teetering on the edge of the elopement decision.

  1.    The average cost of a "regular" wedding in this country is $28,000. The ballpark cost of an elopement (including a hotel for a few days, the marriage license, simple flowers, the officiant's fee, an intimate wedding dinner, a cake for two and your dress) will be somewhere in the area of $2,000 to $4,000 depending on your choice of location. 
    
  2.    Eloping is all about three things: Intimacy, Intimacy, Intimacy! If you really want it to be "all about you" then there is no better way to attain this than by eloping. It's going to be much easier to emotionally connect with your partner while saying your vows by a mountain stream than by worrying about flubbing your lines before your boss and your parent's best friends.
    
  3.    Aside from the initial shock, the stress on your familial relations will be considerably less with an elopement. We've seen perfectly sane and loving families feud like the Hatfields and the McCoys over wedding details. 
    
  4.    Your planning time for an elopement can be minimal to non-existent compared to the traditional nine to eighteen months it takes to plan a traditional wedding. Just think, you could be married and on your honeymoon by this time next month!
    
  5.    Eloping avoids the religion issue. Escape pressure to be married in the church. Eliminate the "I'm one religion, he's another" dilemma.
    
  6.    Eloping also avoids the "whom to invite" predicament. You won't have to deal with the worry of offending distant relatives (who after all, invited you to your cousin Lucy's wedding last year!) or have the unpleasant duty of telling your co-workers that they can't bring a date.
    
  7.    You've have total control over how many people get tipsy at your reception!
    
  8.    If you're looking to avoid stress on your wedding day, an elopement is undoubtedly the only way to go. Let the pounding of your heart as you walk to your groom be from love, not anxiety!
    
  9.    You won't have to tie bows on 250 ceremony programs!
    
  10.    You're virtually guaranteed a celebration that you will remember with a smile for the rest of your life.
    

Maureen Thomson is a Wedding Officiant and owner of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants, with offices in the Bay Area of California, as well as Denver, Colorado Springs and the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. Visit her webssites at www.MemorableCeremoniesBA.com, www.RockyMountainWedding Officiants.com and www.MemorableCeremonies.com.

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