When you have been dumped, it’s not uncommon to decide that you’ll do whatever it takes to get them back. However, it’s not as easy as you may think it is. There are some common mistakes made when trying to achieve this goal. Unfortunately, the damage that is done by these mistakes can be irreparable.

Understand that if you know what to avoid, you can do this easily. Listed below are the 2 biggest mistakes that people make.

(1) Avoid Being Clingy/Needy and Desperate

When you have been dumped, all sorts of negative things start going through your mind. You may think that being near your ex the entire time will actually win him or her back but this actually has a negative effect. Remember, panicking is a natural reaction to the situation but staying near by the entire time is the worst thing you can do. Ask yourself this question… will your ex miss you if you are with him or her the entire time? The answer is simple… they can’t. Give them and yourself some space. The distance that you put between you only works in your favor. While you may think you are doing the right thing by always hanging around, it proves to them that you are clingy, needy and desperate. Don’t let them have this image of you. Instead, break off contact for a good month before you try to talk with them again. Time away is a good thing for your cause.

There are cases where you just can't stop talking such as work or school. If this happens to be your case, be civil to one another when you have to speak. However, this is not ground for talking outside of these places again. Stick to the no contact rule after you have left them

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(2) Using Negatives Outlets to Cope

Turning to alcohol or drugs is the worst thing you can do. Your judgment and reflexes are so impaired that you forget essentially right from wrong. One thing you may try and do is to plead your case with your ex. This is typically called drunk dialing.

Normally done in the overnight hours, you may feel lonely and decide that calling your ex is a smart thing. Wrong. Those drinks you have downed or that butt you just gave to a friend is actually making this bad idea good. All you are doing is reaffirming what they already suspected… that you are a needy and psycho. Don’t give them this satisfaction that they were right about you. When everything is out of your system, you are going to feel really stupid about your actions. If you want to drink, do it in moderation and don’t take any drugs. You can really ruin your chances if you do this.

If you want your ex back, just be an improved you. Sometimes time is all you both need to heal the wounds and broken heart. If you want to get them back, give yourselves both this time and be patient.