The problem begins soon after a romantic date. The guy brings the woman home, kisses her good night at the doorstep, and drops the bombshell: "I’ll call you." The woman coyly smiles but doesn’t respond to the statement; she would even pretend she didn’t hear a word. At this point, she thinks she’s in control and the man is completely under her spell. In a matter of seconds, she has the directions to the quaint little chapel at the cul-de-sac on Oak Street all mapped out in her brain. That is where the wedding will take place. But there’s no hurry.

For now, she plans to keep the guy guessing and on edge…but this only lasts as long as the time it takes for her to open the door and step into the foyer. As soon as she is inside the house, her biological clock that’s connected to her sense of self-worth goes on overdrive. She eases herself into the couch next to the phone and turns on the television, fully expecting not to finish an episode of CSI: Miami because, surely, he WILL call as soon as he gets home. She waits in agitated silence and when the phone doesn’t ring after 30 minutes, she starts making excuses for the guy: he’s stuck in traffic, or perhaps made a pit stop at the hotdog stand where, for some reason, an unusually long line has formed.

After an hour, she goes nuts imagining the worst: his car hit a possum that was behind a moose running after a 10-wheeler truck that had no brake lights, and now he’s fighting for his life. Absurd, right? But one that is not too far from reality. You would think that it would be so much simpler for the woman to just pick up the phone and dial her date’s number or key in a text message and click send, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. So how does it really work? To begin with, no matter how strong your urge is to give him a ring, don’t.

You just to have to wait this out, especially after a first date, while being careful you don’t focus all your energy on it. Some men would call after a day or two while others would call after a week. It would be safe to assume that the longer he takes to call, the lesser his interest in you. Secondly, men sometimes say things just to be polite. They know what you want to hear and will cater to this whim, but only as far as mouthing the words. Accomplishing the act is a whole different category. Now, steady yourself and listen.

It’s not about you. When he doesn’t call even when he said he would doesn’t mean you’re an insipid and unattractive woman. Consider this: it could mean he just doesn’t want to. Or it may be that a serious relationship is not what he’s looking for at this time. Again, that doesn’t mean you’re a loser. It just means he’s not interested and you’re better off looking for someone else. Don’t beat yourself silly for something that wasn’t your fault to begin with. Wouldn’t you rather be in a relationship where the guy actually puts a premium on you and does what he says he would without making you wait an eternity? Life is what happens while you’re waiting for his call, and you’re missing out on a lot.