Brace yourself. I’m about to yell at you! Why do you want to take a marriage compatibility test? Don’t you have enough problems without looking for areas of incompatibility?

OK, I’ll play along and give you a test... then a lecture.

Question 1: Are you currently married?

Question 2: Do you have children?

Question 3: Do you wish to have a very happy marriage?

Question 4: Can your spouse answer the same way you did?

If you have answered yes to at least two out of the four questions you are not only compatible but you have the ability to have the happiest marriage on Earth.

Compatibility is a misleading word, my friends. I have a cat (ok, my daughter has a cat). I love my Tina. Don’t ask me why. My cat and I are not compatible except for when I feed her or brush her (most of the time). Otherwise she never does what I want to do unless it was her idea. She doesn’t think like I do and she has no respect for me. But I love her and I’m keeping her… even if we get a dog later!

You got married for reasons that no longer matter. Some couples I met with told me they were not in love when they got married; doesn’t matter. They still had a great marriage once they learned what marriage is all about.

Here are some more questions:

Question 5: Are you able to feel love?

Question 6: Are you able to tell right from wrong?

Question 7: Would you like to stop suffering?

Question 8: Do you think your spouse answered 5-7 the same as you?

If you answered questions 5-8 with "yes," you and your spouse are compatible. What is more important than compatibility in the areas of emotions, politics, or activity levels is your willingness to respect your spouse for who they are and be loyal to them because you are married to them (like you promised when you got married). When you understand the correct principles of marriage, you will have an amazing marriage and you will be happy. More importantly, your children will be safe from the trauma of separation and divorce. Ok, one more question:

Question 9: Do you really believe your children will be fine if you and your spouse agree to destroy their foundation of security?

If you answered yes to question 9 you have been duped by a psychological doctrine that is insane at best. You need to do what it takes to get your marriage into happiness. I don’t use the term "back on track" because most marriages never were on a good track to begin with. You don’t need to suffer anymore. Learn how to have a happy marriage, which is as easy as learning which way to turn the jar lid to get it off and start having a happy marriage. You deserve it and you should have it as soon as possible.

Now, that wasn’t too harsh, was it?

Paul Friedman

Author of Lessons for A Happy Marriage