Breaking up is hard to do...as the song goes. However, even if you desire to get back with your ex you have to acknowledge the fact that there is a reason for the destruction of the harmony in your previously perfect relationship. Until you do this you really can't begin to move forward - whether that is to start dating again or begin the process of healing the rift and give yourself the best chance of getting back with the 'love of your life'.

To begin with you need to accept that there is a reason for your break up. Don't even try to assign blame on either party, be it your partner or yourself. Even if you feel anger or resentment, feelings like these are just destructive and counterproductive to moving forward. Acknowledge that there is something to fix and that you are determined to fix it, even if it seems an insurmountable task. This is where you need to start thinking positively about the future and set goals for yourself.

Once you have done this you can now start to discuss your negative emotions in a positive way and not have them be a destructive influence. Try and talk to someone that you are comfortable with that is not familiar with your partner and therefore they will not begin to judge your partner and therefore not encourage the negative emotions. Letting others just 'stamp all over' your ex will not help you achieve your goals one bit.

Next, it's time to start believing in you as a person again. Begin thinking about all the positives that you bring to a relationship. Puff your chest out and hold your head up high. Stop those negative feelings once and for all and believe in yourself. You have a million things to bring to a relationship and when you now start to believe this you are ready for the next step...achieving your goal. If your goal is to find a new partner then a positive belief in what you bring to a relationship is a must. Portray confidence to yourself and it will shine through to the rest of the world.

If your goal is to 'get back my ex' then you are ready to start planning an effective strategy to do so.

If you try to move on without this confidence you will often fall flat on your face and spiral into a crisis of confidence like many before you.

Don't try and put the cart before the horse...in other words, start with you before you are ready to offer anything to others. You will be the better for it and so will your relationship.