No doubt you heard the old saying "You can’t have your cake and eat it too." You may not realize it but when it comes to relationships, many dumped exes make this mistake when they are trying to win back their ex.

Many people believe that the way to win back their ex means they need to be there more for him or her. When you are dealing with a broken heart, this is normal but in reality is not want you need to be doing. Do not sacrifice yourself and your chance to calm your feelings and your fears. All you are actually doing is making the situation not better by being there and making it tougher on yourself to win back your ex. Remember that your ultimate goal is to save the breakup.

If this is a bit unclear, try thinking in terms such as this. When you are the person breaking up, are you likely to use the line, "We can still be friends"? Why does this really mean? It means that your ex will move on with life, dating whomever he or she pleases, leaving you to pick up the pieces while, try to move on with your life and get him or her back.

This really is no way for you to live and you shouldn’t have to. What you want is to have your ex understand and appreciate you and what it means to have you in a relationship with him or her. They need to know that they get the good and the bad in one sealed package. Some couples have a tendency to still be around each other as well as sleep together. What type of message does this send to your ex? That he or she can have their cake and eat it too? They can have you and anyone else they choose all at the same time.

You should never allow someone to treat you like this. You deserve to be treated with respect. If you think this will bring back your ex, you are only fooling yourself. In turn, this will make you feel worse and used. What enticement does your ex have to come back to you? Your ex will be happy to have his cake and eat it too without any kind of commitment.

Does this go beyond the physical aspects? It certainly does. If you are always around, how can he or she miss you? Cut off any kind of contact so you can make him or her see how much you meant to them. For some people, they can move on even with this realization. For others, it’s a shock that gets them to the core that they have to stop and think about things.

Have some respect for yourself and cut off any sort of physical contact. Make your ex live without you for some time with no benefits of any kind. If you need to win back your ex, you need to have a plan that’s been tested, tried and true.