Arranged Marriages – Boon or Bane

FamilyMarriage

  • Author Sukhpreet Sawhney
  • Published February 3, 2009
  • Word count 763

One topic, which has always raised many arguments, is whether an arranged marriage is a boon or bane? In a love marriage, one strives on the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually considered as one of the safest ways to ensure family's approval of a union.

Arranged marriages are often compared with marriages of convenience. The parents often indulge into matrimony thinking that their daughter should marry someone who will provide her financial security. In fact, there are as many reasons for entering into a marriage of convenience as there are novels dealing with this subject. Although an arranged marriage does not begin with love, there’s always that sensual tension cooking beneath the surface.

Arranged marriages are a common practice in culturally routed countries such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India.

Youngsters in these countries are told from an early age that their spouses will be chosen for them. If one denies an arranged marriage, it is considered as a sign of disrespect towards the family.

Now the question is whether an arranged marriage is a boon or bane? Different people have different opinions for it. As per statistics, the divorce rate for arranged marriages in these countries is much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love rule. Whereas love marriages are always considered as a safer option as the girl and the boy know each other beforehand.

The concept of arranged marriages is a very popular norm in India. It is how most of the Indians get married. Despite the fact that many Indians are quite modern and western in their approach, arranged marriages are still preferred in most of the Indian families. The concept of arranged marriages may sound unreasonable to the Western world but for Indians it is something they prefer. The system has originated from child marriage, which has been a custom in India since ages. The system mainly came into existence to promote caste system or racism. Arranged marriage has its pros and cons. On the one hand, it is considered as a medium to promote racism and class system and on the other, it gives parents control over family matters and issues.

Another major drawback is that the boy and the girl don’t get to know their future spouses before marriage. In arrange marriages, knowing your life partner is not given as much significance as much as parent’s approval. Two unknown people tie the knot without knowing, meeting and understanding each other. Just as every coin has two sides so do arrange marriages, it is both a boon and a bane. There is also a different positive side to arranged marriages. As there are parents who love their children and are concerned about their life and take the consent of their children when they decide their marriage. Arrange marriages are successful only when the parents don’t force their children to marry whom they don't want to marry. In a marriage there should be mutual consent and understanding from both sides than only a marriage can sustain. A successful arranges marriage happens when the parents support and help their children to find their respective spouses as per their desires and likings. One cannot deny the fact that arranged marriages have some ill effects on the society like it is partial to a particular religion, caste and a race. It is somehow not healthy when parents take over their children's wishes and desires in choosing their life partner. It is definitely wonderful when children are given the right to take a decision themselves on their marriage and also there should be property arrangements for the first time, it would be husband and wife to meet and to understand each other. This is also called a period of courtship when both of them decide to date and decide to get married.

More than a love marriage or an arranged marriage, what is more important is the fact that a relationship cannot grow if there is no mutual consent and understanding from both the parties. Be it a love or arranged marriage, people look for the perfect life partner. But nobody is perfect on this earth. If we understand the other person thoroughly, the way he or she is than only we can leave a happily married life irrespective of love or arrange because the real success of marriage lies in love, respect, concern, empathy, loyalty and more important for each other.

Some useful links:

http://www.jeevansathi.com/

http://www.jeevansathi.com/matrimonials/india-matrimonial/

Sukhpreet Kaur writes on behalf of Jeevansathi.com, which is India’s fastest growing matrimonial website, provides online Indian matrimonial classified services. Jeevansathi.com enables users to create a Parsi matrimony profile on the website and allow prospective grooms and brides to contact each other.

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