The breakdown of a relationship is not a pleasant experience and unfortunately happens to everyone at some stage in their life. If your partner breaks up with you, you may feel like your whole world is falling apart and give up any hope of ever finding the man or woman of your dreams. You must remember that although you are going through a tough time, you will recover from the break up and come out the other side a stronger person, but only if you allow yourself to do so.

Relationships break down for a number of reasons, some being very complex. Every relationship is unique and couples experience their individual problems, therefore there are no standard reasons for a break up that can be applied to everyone. Often two people simply fall out of love or become uninterested in their partner, both of which cannot always be controlled. These reasons often lead to arguments causing an even bigger rift in a relationship. Unfortunately break ups sometimes involve other people. Discovering your partner has cheated on you can be harder to deal with than the actual break up. Being cheated on is something that causes a lot of anger which usually occurs before the feeling of hurt and anguish kicks in. Regardless the reason for a break up, it rarely happens spontaneously. Deciding to end a relationship with someone is an important decision and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Leading up to a break up arguments may occur which are often in preparation for one person involved to end the relationship. These arguments are to test the water to see how you may react, or even for your partner to try and detach themselves emotionally from you. Having said this, not all arguments signify a break up is on the horizon. Often it’s not until after a break up that you see things clearer and realise there were flaws in your relationship. It’s at this point that you realise things weren’t as great as you thought but couldn’t see it at the time. It is common to come out of a relationship confused and not really understanding where it all went wrong. The person breaking up with you may give you a lame excuse which is often to cover up the real reason or perhaps they are trying to spare your feelings or even trying to make the situation easier for themselves. Whatever the reason given to you, you may never find out the real reason which can be frustrating.

You must remember that there are two sides to every story, as it takes two people to make the relationship work. At first you will blame your ex partner for ending things, but you have to ask yourself if it was fair for them to stay in a relationship with you just so they don’t hurt your feelings, even if they were unhappy? This is the point where your partner should have spoken to you about how they feel, but many don’t, then they make the decision alone to end the relationship without communication with you. This is the reason a break up usually comes as a huge shock.

A break up is heartbreaking and an emotional roller coaster. At the time you will feel a variety or emotions, usually starting off with feeling hurt which turns to anger and bitterness. You may feel like you will never get your life back on track and feel like giving up, but you must remember that you will get through this difficult period, all you need is some time to get yourself together and allow yourself to move on. The best way to do this is to distance yourself as much as possible from them, although if children are involved this may not be possible. No matter how angry you become, never resort to revenge. Revenge is unhealthy and will only succeed in making you look pathetic and hung up on your ex, and you do not want your ex to witness this. If you really want the satisfaction of getting to your ex, then the best thing you can do is pick yourself up and get on with your life, making your ex feel insignificant. Unless you accept what has happened then you cannot move on. Acceptance is the key to getting through a break up.

It is vital that you take one day at a time otherwise you could become overwhelmed at thinking of a future without your ex. Having close friends around you is a great help, although this doesn’t mean you need to go out socialising with them. It helps to be in the comfort of your own home, or a friend’s home, so you can talk things through with them. Talking is a good way to help you to move on. There is nothing wrong with having a good cry over the break up and feeling sorry for yourself. This is natural and is needed for you to allow yourself to move on, as long as you don’t dwell on things for too long. Sometimes a slight change helps you to move on, such as a new haircut, new clothes, starting a new hobby and even going on holiday. A holiday can help you to think clearly about your life as you are in a different environment away from your everyday life. Although slight change can help you, it is not recommended that you make any big decisions after a break up as you may not be thinking straight and end up making a rash decision with a negative impact.

No matter how much you miss your ex, it’s not a good idea to take them back, whether they approach you or you approach them. If the relationship failed once, it is more than likely to fail again, which will leave you feeling heartbroken all over again and back in the same situation. Deciding to be good friends with your ex is also not a good idea. You might feel like you can manage it, but again you will only get hurt. Being near your ex watching them move on and date new people will be hard to do and it’s not fair to put yourself through more than you have to. Also visiting places you know your ex goes to in hope to see them is not a good idea. You will only be holding yourself back accepting the break up and lengthening the recovery period.

Many people make the mistake of dating new people straight after a break up, which is a mistake. Dating someone on the rebound is not fair on your new partner and more often than not the relationship ends in disaster. You need to get over your previous relationship and accept that it is over before you can even think about entering a new relationship. After a break up some people carry out a series of one night stands just to make them feel wanted, but again this will not help you to move on; you will only end up regretting your actions.

When a relationship ends it is vital that you don’t give up hope of meeting the man or woman of your dreams. With time and acceptance you are sure to meet someone special. Remember not all men and women are the same; just because you have had a bad experience, it doesn’t mean the same will happen with your next relationship. It is important that you stay positive after a break up. As each day passes things will become a little easier and you will find yourself smiling, and then laughing, and one day life will seem a lot easier and you will feel happier. It is at this point that you will feel ready to date again, so don’t let a failed relationship stop you from finding your perfect partner.