When an opportunity arises to change your life for the better, your fear will generate excuses to spoil it for you. Each excuse is a single piece in the loser’s jigsaw. The end picture is an unhappy picture of you. Here’s how you can build a happier one.

Let’s say you’ve seen someone you really fancy. You can’t take your eyes off them and you want to get it on with them. As soon as you think about approaching them, fear starts the jigsaw puzzle:

1. Fear’s first piece is picked: “Yes, but they wouldn’t fancy someone like me. I’m too fat/thin/tall/short/young/old.” This is predicting a negative outcome by generating a poor self-image. Accept it and you won’t make your approach. Instead, believe you’re a catch. And you don’t know how someone will react, you might click big time. There’s only one way to find out!

2. Fear selects another piece and picks on you again. “I’m not very good at starting conversations. I’ll bore them and embarrass myself.” Give into this one and well, you’ll have bored them for sure because you didn’t even say “Hello”. How boring is that?

3. The loser’s jigsaw continues: “They might react in a nasty way and embarrass me. I don’t want to be rejected in a nasty way.” This is another negative prediction and as with all of these excuses, it has little to support it. It’s rare that you’ll get a nasty reaction to an advance. Rejection is part of life and you deal with it by realizing that some people want what you’ve got but some people don’t. And if you do get a nasty reaction, it’s told you a lot about them and you’ve just had a lucky escape.

4. Time for another piece: “I’m not in the right mood tonight. I’ll come in here next week and I’ll make my move then.” This is a beauty! Why take action now? You’ll be much better next time and you’ll have a better chance. Why rush? Of course, fear knows delay will keep your life as it is and you won’t be exposed to risk. Why delay the chance to connect with someone who you could share great times with? They might not be around next time – and fear knows it.

5. Undaunted, fear continues the game. “I’m not sure I want to meet someone. Things are going fine so why change?” How cute is this? Fear is determined to keep you safe and is trying to convince you that a change for the better will make things worse! If you want a better life, you have to do something to get it. This is how fear will stop you. An opportunity to get more happiness is in front of you. Don’t let fear make you turn your back on it.

Why let fear build a loser’s jigsaw for you when you can conquer it by seizing the moment and taking action!