Why Was I Dumped?

What You Must Know Now To Win Your Ex Back and Never Get Dumped Again

What You Need To Understand... Even If It Hurts...

I am certain that being in the emotional state that you are, feeling the loss and the pain that you are currently feeling, your mind is reeling with questions! Perhaps the number one question everyone asks in the same situation is some variation of, "Why?"

'Why did they dump me?"

"Why didn't I make them happy?"

Or maybe even,

"Why did they feel compelled to cheat on me?"

Regardless of how you phrase the question, if you have recently been dumped, your mind is reeling with why!

WHY DID THEY DUMP ME?

I can almost guarantee you that the truth about why you were dumped is NOT likely the reason that your ex gave you. It is likely you have sensed or somehow felt that your ex was withholding something, and that they didn't give you the REAL reason they left you. The uncertainly can stab at your heart, fog your attempts of gaining a clear understanding and account for more than a few sleepless nights.

There is a very good reason why the truth may not parallel what their given reason for ending the relationship. And though the two may not be congruent this does not necessarily signify that your ex was deliberately deceptive with you. Fact is that your ex may not have known the REAL reason them self! Shocking, isn't it? Now, I am sure you are wondering:

How can that be right?

The reality is that very few people truly understand themselves or their own needs! It's true! Being out of touch with our own true needs is often experienced only a sense or a nagging feeling of being dissatisfied; sensing something of a void or a pain that they cannot 'quite put a finger on'. And so your ex may not have known exactly WHY they weren't happy and wanted to end the relationship. Chances are they only felt a knowing pain of being dissatisfied and discontent. This is the ambiguous face that likely resulted in your ex ending your partnership.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT TO KNOW?

One of the reasons it is so important to understand the real reason you were dumped is because it can be instrumental in letting go of blame. Whether moving forward with your life after a break up and/or moving towards reconciliation, holding onto blame will only sabotage those efforts.

To let go of blaming your partner, consider this: How could they have told you the truth about why they ended the relationship when they didn't understand it them self? They couldn't. So, let the blame go!

To let go of your self-blame, consider this: How could you have done anything different not understanding exactly what the problem was? How can you blame yourself for not fixing something you didn't understand? You can't! So, let the self blame go too!

Another reason it is imperative to look at this is because until you understand WHY the relationship was not satisfactory for your ex you won't comprehend the underlying cause and problem and without the wisdom of this hindsight you will be ill prepared to make the necessary changes to insure you are never dumped again!

FINDING THE TRUTH IN ALL THE CONFUSION...

Let's begin sorting this out.

Behind all of the various reasons given for breaking up there is commonly ONE reason and fundamental truth that leads someone to end a relationship. That one truth is the same in every break up, though it may be expressed and shared in different ways, if it is recognized at all.

This fundamental, though often unrecognized or unacknowledged feeling is what damaged your ex's ability to feel fulfilled and satisfied in your relationship. It is this feeling that nagged at them and eventually was their impetus to ending the relationship.

You are about to discover the REAL REASON YOUR PARTNER LEFT YOU.

Assuming your partner had an understanding of their real reasons needs, they would have recognized the source of their dissatisfaction, and what they would have conveyed to you, in a moment of brutal honesty, you would have heard some variation of:

"I don't like being with you anymore because somehow you make me feel worthless."

I know, I know! OUCH!

I do fully understand that that this may be difficult to take in. It hurts too look at the truth of how we have dreadfully botched loving and valuing the very person we love and value most in the world! But, please don't torture yourself lamenting your every shortcoming in the relationship. Everyone, at one point or another, has made this same mistake. No situation is hopeless!

So, let's explore how partners may come to feelings of worthlessness in a relationship.

A MAN'S PSYCHE AND NEEDS...

It starts with needs. Everyone has needs in a relationship. However, men and woman have DIFFERENT needs. Men need to feel admired. Men want to be a woman's hero. Men are really like little boys and they seek your admiration.

When a woman ceases to admire a man or ceases to share that with him, a part of him dies. There is just no way he can continue to feel happy and satisfied in that relationship. You see, men are driven to feel successful and in a relationship their feelings of being triumphant are directly linked with how well they feel they are ensuing the woman in their life happy! Without a woman's admiration a man has no way to feel successful and too feel he is doing some good for the person he loves.

It is very painful for him. Knowing how to express your admiration for a man is a key secret to keeping him happy and focused on you and the relationship!

A WOMAN'S NEEDS

Women too have a primary need. Women need to feel appreciated. You see, women love to give, it's in their nature to give and they can give tirelessly when they do it out of love, but what kills a woman's love faster than anything is feeling that she is not appreciated for all that she does and all that she gives. When a woman feels she is being taken for granted she shuts down and stops giving her love, her support and her nurturing. But when a woman feels appreciated she is inspired to give MORE of herself.

THE PAST IS IN THE PAST...

BUT, YOU CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE NOW!

Whatever mistakes you have made, do NOT despair! Everyone makes mistakes and if you learn from them, they are not really mistakes.

Think about it, it is a proven fact that people like and respond to those whom they feel like them! Most of us are guilty of sending subtle messages to our partners that we don't approve of them and over time they come to believe that we don't really like them.

Here are a few subtle ways we send negative messages to our partners.

· Nag them to change a behavior, habit or mannerism we find unacceptable (essentially implies they are not lovable exactly as they are)

· Make suggestions to them on how they can do something better or more efficiently (implies they are doing it wrongly or simply not good enough)

· Act frustrated or disapproving of their choices, ideas or preferences

· Pick apart their family and friends or both (we tend to see our friends as family as extensions of ourselves)

· Constantly barrage them with methods of self improvement (subtlety conveying to them that who they are isn't good enough)

· Continuously offer a counter viewpoint or opinion (confirming that you don't agree with them)

· Compare them to others or remind them of how they have changed (implying we would prefer they were like someone else or were more like they used to be)

A fascinating fact of human nature is that NO ONE believes himself or herself to be a bad person. Even the convict in prison for armed robbery will tell you that he believes he is a great person and will cite the time he gave $5.00 to the homeless man, helped an old lady cross the street or recall the stray cat he fed that one cold, dark, rainy winter. And it would be true, as no one is all bad or all good.

The secret to making someone feel good is to CONFIRM and express agreement with what he or she generally believes is the truth about them self! This is where you need to tune into your partner a bit and delve a bit deeper. Remember that you want to make them feel you really know them and who they believe them self to be (or want to be). Show admiration towards the man who prides himself on being a hard worker and putting in extra hours on the job in order to provide for his family and he will beam. At last, someone sees the real me, he will think! Show appreciation for the woman who takes pride in her cooking skills and carefully plans healthy menu's for her loved one and she will be like putty in your hands and you can be certain that there will be plenty more nutritious, delicious meals coming your way.

Knowing that what a man wants more than anything is to be admired you can begin now giving him the admiration he craves. And knowing a woman wants noting more than to be appreciated you can begin sharing how much you cherish her and value all that she did or does for you.

Though they won't understand

Exactly why...

Suddenly they just won't

Be able to get enough of you!

Once you discover the astonishing secrets to gratifying the primary need of your partner you have come a very long way in assuring that you will NEVER be dumped again!

Knowing that you must express appreciation towards the woman you love most you hold the power to inspiring her to give more; more of her love, more of her soul, and more of her essence. Not only that she will do it with JOY!

That is right! She will be completely happy giving YOU all of her love, the best her heart has to give and giving it to you and ONLY you!

Likewise, when you discover how to give a man the admiration he craves you will hold the magic key to his heart! Imagine! No other woman gets to him like you do and no one makes him as happy as you can! Once you master the secret riddle of making him feel more like the man he wants to be in your presence, no other woman will fascinate and please him like you do! That is a POWERFUL secret, indeed!