Do you know these easy ways to build trust in a relationship? The things we think of first are often not the things that really make a relationship work. For example, many people think there is a constant need to ‘spice things up’. Guess what, they are wrong! Consistency and predictability are much more important to a relationship in the long run. The following seven methods are sure to improve the connection in your relationship by growing the level of trust.

The first thing, as I mentioned before, is you need to be predictable. I know, this goes directly against the common idea that you need to ‘stir the pot’ to keep the romance sizzling. There’s nothing wrong with trying out a different restaurant, or giving a surprise gift now and then. What you need to realize is that consistency and predictability don’t necessarily mean ‘boring’. Many people find it easier to maintain a relationship that is consistent than one that is like a roller coaster ride. Trust in a relationship is built on the day to day reliability.

Secondly, make sure your words always match the message. Be honest with your partner. Don’t say you are happy if your body language says otherwise. Your partner doesn’t necessarily hear what you say, they read your body language. They see the look on your face and the tone of voice you use, and know you are not happy. You want your partner to be able to trust what you are saying, so make sure your words match your body language. When the body language and the words spoken match; you build trust in a relationship.

The third thing that helps build trust in a relationship is to believe your partner is competent. If you believe that your partner is incompetent to do some things, or maybe you feel they aren’t really competent to do anything. This scornful attitude will eventually erode the trust in your relationship. We all have things we aren’t very good at, but the truth, when communicated in a loving way, should not harm a relationship, it should make it better.

Don’t ever keep secrets from your mate. Secrets will destroy the trust in a relationship faster than almost anything. Be honest and open with your partner. You know the truth always comes out eventually. It’s better to tell the truth right away while the issue is still small. Secrets take an enormous amount of energy to keep. Use that energy to help build the relationship up, not to tear it down.

Fifth, don’t make your partner guess what your needs are. Communicate these needs openly and clearly. It’s okay to be a little self-centered now and then, as long as you aren’t that way all the time. Sometimes you may feel reluctant to tell your partner what your needs are. Don’t forget, they have needs too. Maybe they are apprehensive too. If you open up about your needs, they will feel more comfortable letting you know what they need. Then you both win and continue to build the trust in your relationship.

The sixth thing to remember is to learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that’s a good thing, but you don’t have to say yes to everything. Especially if what they want is something that violates your own ‘code of ethics’. Asking someone to compromise their values is not a good way to build trust in a relationship. You will be mad at them for asking you to do it and mad at yourself for allowing it to happen.

The final thing to remember is growth. When you plant a garden you begin by digging in the dirt, then you care for your plants by watering and weeding them until they are fully grown. A relationship can be like a garden. It’s a lot of work to nurture your relationship. Digging up the dirt and pulling the weeds can be a painful and exhausting experience, but it prepares the soil of your relationship for future growth. Don’t fear crises’ or turmoil in the relationship, embrace the difficult circumstances and let them become fertilizer for growth. Building trust in a relationship can be painful, but as you work through the pain, you will also gain strength.