Empathy, trust, honesty, courage and the ability to share are the key qualities that make love last. If lovers have these traits, their love will deepen into true intimacy.

Empathy: Can you say "I love what you feel"? Can your partner say this too? More than understanding each others deepest feelings, you can feel them. Empathy is a much deeper level of understanding. Empathy IS NOT the same thing as sympathy but it is very easy to confuse the two. Sympathy, in essence, is feeling sorry FOR someone. Empathy is feeling is feeling and understanding their sorrow.

Trust: Can you say, "I know I can count on you; and you can tell me secrets that I will never betray"? Equally important, can your partner say the same thing about you? Being able to count on your partner can be the pivotal point in a relationship. With no or little trust, the relationship will be full of arguments and harmful recriminations. Trust is essential.

Honesty: Can you say, "I know you will tell me the truth about important matters, even if the truth is difficult"? Can your partner trust you to be equally truthful? We have all heard the old saying that a lie will come back to bite you in the end – and there is nothing more true than in a relationship. Honesty and trust are closely related. Without honesty, trust will be undermined and the relationship is doomed from the beginning. Honesty is always the best policy – especially with the one you love.

Courage: Can you strip defenses, break through stereotypes, confront fears, and explore emotional boundaries together until you really touch each other? That kind of vulnerability is a form of personal courage and it can be very difficult to achieve. With the right partner, however, your natural inhibitions should be allowed to relax – because of the trust and honesty you see in your partner.

Sharing: Are you fully engaged with your partner without losing your separate life" Can your partner say the same thing. For example, when two people get married, that does not mean that they are now tied to the hip with each other. Each partners individuality still needs to shine through. Your lives are now melded in one path – but you must each maintain your own desires, interests and goals.

In true intimacy, two people express themselves beyond their masks and roles and share hopes and hurts, dreams and disappointments. They are like two mountain climbers involved in simultaneously in a personal as well as a shared moment.