So many people believe that happiness could truly be found when they find something they want or desire for the longest time. A friend opened up to me during a recent conversation that he could find happiness at last only if he could figure something out. That something, in all its mystery, was for him to know and for me to…well, be kept forever in mystery or for me to find out. But that was not the first time, nor will it be the last that I hear that comment. But ultimately, finding happiness is like an inside job—it means finding it is through looking within.

As many personal coaches has experienced, no one really found bliss when you attained another goal. If true happiness could be achieved as the end result of possessing anything you want, achieving a dream, or buying something you like, then the contentment of a person would often be subject to something else. The basic key for finding happiness is to finally understand that it is not the result but a choice. The definition of happiness could also be seen when a person feels joyful, satisfied or pleased. Or he may simply be displaying signs of enjoying life. A basic and significant truth to remember is that another way to define happiness is merely the absence of an opposite emotion such as sadness, pain, misery or it can be something else.

If these opposite emotions are not experienced, then gladness cannot be experienced either. Just like bad times make you appreciate the good times in life, and sadness makes you experience and be thankful for joy, and famine makes you be grateful for food and the joys of eating. Notice that if you try asking some people what real happiness means to them, perhaps you would probably hear, "I will be happy when…" When I win a million dollars in the lotto, I would be very happy. I'd be extremely happy if I get that deserving promotion. I'll be totally ecstatic if I finally get to meet and end up with the love of my life.

These and all those other "if I had" situations are following the same logic; that being happy is based on external conditions. However, if you solely base your gladness on external conditions alone, somehow you would usually fail or end up being frustrated in finding happiness. The reason is that there would always definitely be other external conditions. There would always be another job offer, another dollar, another house or another partner in life. And to break this harmful cycle, we have to look for our joy somewhere else—that somewhere else is inside us. Actually, we’ve been given everything we need to be happy in our lives.

When we could ultimately accept that life is simply perfect as it is and that our lives are the entire package of all that has happened till this very instant, only then can we begin to accept the joy and gladness we truly deserve. Consequently, the option to being happy is to realize that life is perfect because we get to create it with our own choices.