After a breakup with a girlfriend some guys move on. Others are left wondering how can I get my ex girlfriend back? Then there are those stunned, and asking what the heck just happened? There are hurt feelings and maybe some anger as well. That is why it is good to have a plan to get back your girlfriend, rather than risking making things worse. So I put together 5 suggestions on how to make this happen and not make things worse.

1). First thing to do is take ownership of why she left you. Women rarely just dump a guy without reason. Most reasons are the guys fault. Infidelity being number 1. I hope that you did not go there… If you did it will be a lot harder to get her back. The other big reason women leave their boyfriends is they feel the emotional connection is gone. Once again, the guys fault. Guys work hard to get a girlfriend. Then they relax and cruise in the relationship. A successful relationship needs attention and focus. Being best friends and being connected are important parts to staying together. So you need to figure out your part in what went wrong.

2). Now it is time to fix what you broke. That will require some thought and real commitment to a solution that will work for both of you. Once you have a solution, it is time to open a dialogue. This is where many guys mess up. A successful dialogue is not crying, begging, pleading arguing, or creating stress with your ex girlfriend. If you truly want to get your ex girlfriend back you need to be the guy she fell in love with in the first place. Then explain that you understand what happened and you are sorry. Then share with her your solution to the problem and how you two can actually be a better couple now that you understand her needs. This may take a few conversations… Do not rush this part. Be friendly and easy to talk to. No drama!

3). This is a time for you to be available, but do not put your life on hold. Have you ever noticed many times a sale has a call to action or a time limit. This motivates the buyer to act now. If you are to available, to easy, to "there" all the time, then there is no urgency for her to get back together. So go out with friends, be somewhat busy. Some guys like to get their ex jealous. I think this is a bad idea. You know her better than I do, however I think that is a bad idea.

4). This step is a little tricky. It is a delicate balance of having a life, caring about her, and not being needy or clingy. I think the best approach is keeping the "love" part secondary and reconnecting as best friends. But still have a life. When the time is right you can be romantic, but mostly be her best friend again.

5). Whatever you did wrong most likely has raised issues of trust. So you need to make sure you keep your word. You have to rebuild her trust. Depending on how bad you screwed up this could take the longest time. So wait until you have rebuilt her trust in you before you make your move to get your ex girlfriend back.

Ok let’s recap. Take a hard look at why she left you. Find a solution you both can live with. Have a life of your own and do not create stress in hers by being a pain in the ass. Become her best friend again. Rebuild her trust in you. Then get your ex girlfriend back!