Going through a break up is a very common experience but in no way does that make it any simpler for anyone. It certainly also does not mean that the more times you do through it, the more experience you will have and thus the easier it will be. No. In fact, every break up will give you heartache and very often, the first question that anyone will ask is can you still get your ex back?

Actually, what you should be asking yourself at this point in time is whether this relationship is worth keeping? If you ex had ever used physical or verbal violence on you, consider yourself as lucky to be finally out of this relationship and forget about wanting to get your ex back! That is definitely not a healthy relationship to be in and you do not want to get it back!

So if after having carefully considered your relationship and you find that your relationship is one that is worth salvaging, then the following 4 simple steps are something that you will need to study in details. If both of you still love each other but something has gone wrong and caused the break up, these 4 steps will be able to help you to get your ex back.

1. Be proactive and apologize first

Do some soul searching first. Have you said or done anything wrong to anger your partner? If you have, be the first to apologize but make sure you are not doing it because you are blaming yourself for everything that had happened. Understand what you are apologizing for first before you do so.

On the other hand, be very careful not to get into another heated argument with your ex when you apologize to your ex as that is a very common consequence. Make sure you remain calm and not become defensive if your ex should mention another issue as that will only lead to another huge argument. Remember, more arguments will not help you to get your ex back, right? So, keeping your cool is essential here.

2. Have a heart-to-heart talk

This can only be done after both of you have kept your emotions under checks. Arrange for a convenient time for both of you to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk but make sure you do not force or use any emotional threats to get your ex into agreeing on the talk. If your ex is not willing to talk, go on to the next step listed below to help you.

Before the talk, make it clear to your ex that you just wanted to clarify things, not find fault with each other. If possible, get a relationship counselor involved during the talk. It might help you to get better results if you want to get your ex back. If not, just make sure you are objective during the talk and not lose your cool.

3. Allow each other some space

Give your ex some time to cool his/her emotions down first. I understand that you do so badly want to get your ex back but if you are pestering him/her everyday, you will only be successful in getting your ex to find you annoying and feel that a break up is the right choice! Give your ex some time to miss you by being away for a while. Do not even call your ex up until you have a proper plan in mind on what to do next, otherwise you will not be able to get your ex back!

4. Continue to enjoy your life

Finally, it is crucial that you do not show yourself to be going into desperation just because your ex had left you! Take time off to be with your friends. Go shopping, watch a movie, whatever. Make sure you continue to live a full life instead of sitting by the phone waiting for your ex to call you or checking your email constantly to see if your ex had left you any messages in your inbox.

If you allow yourself to go into depression just because your ex had left you, it will not make him/her come back to you. On the contrary, if you continue to live life to the fullest, you might make your ex recall the days when you were together and the reasons why he/she had fallen for you in the first place. That will help you to get your ex back instead of being desperate, whiny and clingy.

In fact, it will be best if you refrain from answering your ex's calls. You can return the call the next day if you still want to get your ex back and just tell him/her that you were busy so you could not answer the call earlier. That will shock your ex and make him/her realize that you are actually still attractive to others and are fully capable of living your life with or without him/her. It might actually help to get your ex to start pursuing you all over again. Who knows, you might be able to get your ex back faster than you thought possible!