Single Parents Dating Guideline

If you are a Single Parent looking to get back into the dating market, there are several things to consider. In this article, I will address three of the top concerns many parents write into me during their quest to find a suitable mature person to date during this transition in life.

"How will my children react?"

This is the number one question I get from single parents. Because every single parent has a different set of circumstances for being newly single in the first place, it is a little hard to say how your particular child will react to meeting someone new in your life. The best things to think about are those circumstances first and address any emotional pain that your child has gone through in his/her own transition. If you are newly divorced for example, it is wise to make sure to keep your dating world/life separate from your child until there is a set routine in place. Changing everything at once including introducing new adults into your child's life isn't a healthy transition and could quickly lead to resentment issues. If you proceed with caution and make sure that your child knows he/she will always be your #1 Little Man or #1 Little Girl, then you should be able to test the waters at the appropriate time with someone you feel is special enough to meet them.

"How soon should I tell someone I meet that I'm a Single Parent?"

Of course, it should come naturally in the conversation. Being a Single Parent in 2009 certainly isn't a "Scarlet Letter" - and you should be proud that you are taking on the difficult task of being a responsible parent. So is it typically the first thing you say? "Hello, I'm Tom and I have three little girls." - Not necessarily. However, there is always a point when meeting anyone that you or he/she is going over the details of life in general - and this is no different than talking about your work, your school history, etc... Remember - YOU are a CATCH - and anyone that you would want as a potential dating partner will accept your parental status and value you as a person, with or without children. If you are worried about someone's reaction to that fact. Run...do not walk to the nearest exit and say, "See ya later!"

"When do I introduce my Child/Children to my New Dating Partner?"

Very difficult question, and really goes back to the emotional issues of your child/children. However, the main key component of introducing anyone to your child should apply here. For all purposes, this is a "stranger" to your children. Taking things slowly is critical when introducing them to someone new in your life. Meeting at the Zoo, or a Movie or for Dinner is a great idea! Not putting too much pressure on them to "perform" in front of someone new and allowing them to be age appropriate will go a long way in making sure everyone is comfortable during the meeting. If you have a 5 year old - meet at a Fun Kids Place, not a Steakhouse for example. Your new Partner might be impressed, or want to impress you - but this will not be a very fun experience for your little one and the stress of wanting to make a good impression will override the joy of introduction quickly. As a last rule of thumb - make sure that this new person doesn't show signs of behavior that is inappropriate with your child. Watch for Danger Signals - no matter how much you think you know about the new person in your life - your child is still your number one concern.

I hope this quick guideline will help you navigate the waters, and I will continue with more tips in later articles.