When experiencing marriage problems, many couples look to a marriage counselor to help them through their problems. Although having a third party to help you communicate better with each other may be helpful, it is not actually necessary. Marriage counseling does not resolve marriage problems, the couple themselves do. If there are underlying problems that need to be addressed than address them. Don't allow them to lie or fester until you can get to counseling. Make a decision to make some changes right now. Start with some of the basics:

You must reserve talking time and you have to have some rules for th communication time. This alone may be helpful for a lot of other festering issues, communication is the basis for all issues. Both of you need time and space to talk so make sure to listen carefully and then express your feelings carefully.

Where's the love? This person is in your life because you chose them, start to look at the reasons for your choice. This will give you a new perspective, some positives to remember and this will help you to turn the love back on. Look for the kindness. When there are problems between you and your spouse, the respect and kindness starts to fade away, you don't treat your spouse as well as a stranger! Turn this around, even while you don't feel like it, be as nice as you can. Do extra nice things for them and see the change start.

Physical Affection. While at first this may be difficult because there may be a lot of tension between the two of you, if at all possible at least touch each other and hug each other. Physical love can help break down the barriers. Consider writing down problems and issues. Sometimes written words are less difficult than confrontation, so consider writing a letter to better explain your feelings or the problems that you see. Do so when your spouse can have time to process this without immediately discussing it. Sometimes when allowed to sink in a little bit, you will find that you spouse is more receptive to the things you said.

Keep in mind that marriage counseling is not intended to repair your marriage that is up to you and your spouse. A marriage counselor can provide you with some helpful tools and tips that you can implement, but they can not fix your marriage. There are other resources that can help you repair your marriage yourself and these can be found on the web or in your local library. Keep in mind that although marriage counseling can be helpful, it will not save your marriage, that is up to you.