"Buy the ticket, take the ride" the immortal Hunter S. Thompson was fond to say. And of course everyone knows that 80% of success is showing up. So you’ve flown all the way to Moscow or another equally exotic Eastern city, and set up. You’ve taken the initiative and found one or more irresistible Russian femmes online and arranged to meet them. What’s your game plan? You may be Casanova back in Detroit, but this is a far cry from any meet & greet you’ve been on. Do you know what you’re doing, and what to expect with a Russian lady who likely can distinguish a hundred different types of caviar and probably drink you under the table? Can you close the deal once you’re on the ground? Because ask any expat living here, we’ve not come so far just to get this far…

So you connected with a fabulous looking, engaging, romance minded Russian femme long distance and now you’re in Moscow or other CIS berg ready to rumble. And of course being successful in love and courtship is something you naturally want to do well, if you don’t already. So for those of you who aren’t James Bond or Richard Gere, here are some easy to remember and highly effective tips on courting your new Russian sweetheart…

1. Wear a suit • Look strong. In a roomful of schlubs you’ll be a God. What Russian may be a well dressed guy in the States or Western Europe is standard issue, and even considered casual, in Moscow. A guy in a good looking suit commands respect and exudes confidence, which is the first step towards, well, you’re individual goals. Here, every guy dresses as well as he can, although they’ll dress down. Stay away from bright colors and stripes in favor of subdued shades.

2. You’re Different; Exploit the fact • Russian men can be dashing and very handsome. But even if you’re average, by virtue of appearing different will get a lot of women checking you out. Don’t let these opportunities pass you by. Jocks are at an advantage. But understand that confidence, brains and savvy go a long way in this town. You’ll walk differently, open doors differently, eat differently and of course speak apart from the locals. Be confident, but not cocky. Your date will be curious at the difference. Don’t swagger, show offs aren’t appreciated.

3. Take the initiative • Sure, you can be coy and bag a stunner by simply showing up. But girls are more traditional than your sundry American or European variety, and a lot more candid and direct. In any situation, initial contact is said to contain an unconscious determination of who is in control. As in other cultures, Russian women consider it the males domain and expect him to take the initiative and direct everything from handling a taxi, where to go, what to do, as well as suggest what to order at a restaurant, and more. No parity here. Your stock will rise if you at least appear to be in control of your surroundings even though you may not speak the language or understand the terrain. Do your homework and understand what’s on the table. Be confident and take the initiative. You’ll enjoy yourself much more and be halfway home without reading the rest of this article.

4. Don’t smile too big or too quickly • Russians generally won’t smile immediately upon meeting someone new. It’s considered insincere as in "how can I show my pleasure if I don’t even know you?" You may encounter a daunting look. Don’t despair. Be firm and self assured. Say something remotely humorous, even cornball. Russians have a great sense of humor and will find any excuse to mix it up. You’ll be surprised how quickly, even instantly the ice melts with a simple quip and sly ? smirk. Russian women seem to have little fear and can be instantly friendly and laugh easily. Russians speak and behave in a subdued manner and don’t appreciate loud or demonstrative speech or behavior. Speaking softly with your new friend creates intimacy that is a part of the culture. She won’t shy away.

5. Admire your prospect • Russian women are great non-verbal communicators. A simple admiring glance is instantly understood and appreciated. Don’t be a lecher or lay the compliments on, they’re for later and will be considered shallow flattery at this point. Instead be discreet but show your interest. Look into her eyes and see if they dilate, a sure sign she’s warmed up. If they do, take notice and let her know with a smile. She’ll understand that you understand. And you’re off to the races.

6. Learn a few local phrases • Like anywhere, knowing the local lingo goes along way, and Russian certainly have their own shorthand. So along with the rudimentary niceties, ordering and saying please and thank you, and together with toasts (see below), learn something colloquial to say when you’re asked "do you know any words of Russian, darling?" Say, for instance: Mnye bi khat-ye -las’ uz-nat tib-ya pa-bli-zhe (I want to know you better). You’ll get an instant smile along with a correction in your pronunciation. But above all it will warm things up nicely.

7. Learn to drink • You may be over 21 and think you know how to imbibe, but here is a different animal. Here is flush with copious quantities of quality champagne, wines and cognacs. No need to limit yourself to traditional or legendary spirits. In Russia, try not to refuse a drink with anyone you’re interested in maintaining more than just a passing acquaintance with. In some more dubious circles the invitation is issued with a few taps of the fingers to one’s throat. However, this gesture is reserved for the boy’s club, and not mixed company… understand? Here toasts are a tradition and protocol for every sip. So learn a few…English is O.K….A good first toast with a new femme is Za zhenzhin (to the women), or to such details as you’ve touched upon with your new acquaintance…her hair, her delicate hands, beautiful eyes, etc…Touch glasses and look your guest in the eye. She’ll be delighted with the effort and impressed with your manners. But be forewarned. Even this dainty morsel you’ve just met may be able to drink you under the table. A good plan to keep this from happening is to order a plate of snacks, usually pickled vegetables and black bread. It will keep your wits about you so you’re able to continue with the program.

8. Be a gentleman • Chivalry is alive and robust in Russia. Open doors and let ladies and especially Babushkas go first. Pull seats out at tables, help on and off with her coat, serve her drinks and food. You’ll enjoy it. And it’s her pleasure to return the favors.

The chemistry between two people cannot be readily explained. However, much of your success centers on confidence. There’s also a fine line between confident and cocky – don’t cross it.