One of the biggest mistakes that people make when they are having marriage problems is blaming their spouse. It seems simple to blame the other person when things go wrong and say that they are not doing their part. However, you might be surprised to realize that fixing your marriage problems may have very little to do with fixing your spouse and may have a lot more to do with fixing yourself and changing your own attitude.

This is not an easy theory to embrace, you already are feeling some hurt and that makes it hard to take the first step. You will need to adjust your thought process about your partner, and a great way to do that is to thing of all the positives that your spouse has and contributes into your life. This will help your head start to get around changing how you feel about your spouse.

A good beginning step in this process would be to write down all the positive attributes your spouse has and how those have influenced you. Then have this list with you all the time so you can read it on a regular basis to help reinforce all the positive, loving feelings you have for them. If you can get your outlook going in a positive manner this will cause a change in the love and respect shown in your marriage.

Next, discover more alone time, go do a mutually enjoyable activity, hang out, exercise together, whatever it is do it together. Don't sleep apart unless it is a have to situation due to shift work or something similar. This time together in bed is crucial for snuggling and talking about life, not doing this will continue the divisive situation already in place.

These are simple steps to take and may sound too easy but the surprising thing is by doing just a few small changes can make a difference. Time spend together and focusing on positives are very powerful tools for bringing the marriage back around by altering the mind set of both you and your partner. Just doing these will help solve the problems and possibly avoid marriage counselors. When you make a change in yourself you will see the change in the relationship.