How Do You Know If Your Ex Wants You Back?
- Author Dan Jenkins
- Published April 22, 2010
- Word count 484
If you're asking this question, it's probably because you are seeing signs that make you think your ex wants to get back together. And since you found your way to this page, it's probably also true that you are wanting to get your ex back.
It's okay to get your hopes up a little bit, if you're seeing signs of flirtation from your ex. Even if all that has happened is you heard from your ex after a long period of no contact -- that's reason to be encouraged. Renewed communication, initiated by an ex, is one of the common signs your ex is interested in getting back together.
But you have to be careful not to make assumptions. The worst thing you could do would be to start acting intimate right away, like you're back together again. If you go overboard, you could scare your ex away.
So don't initiate anything. At this point, no kissing or making out. I would even say you have to avoid touching, this early in the game. You need to act a little uncertain, like a new friend would. After all, you don't know everything your ex has been up to while you've been separated. In a way, you truly are getting to know someone new, who has become unfamiliar since you were last together. The fact is, you don't know how your ex has changed in the interim.
Think about this: It's normal, after a breakup, for both partners to contemplate what went right and what went wrong. It's also normal for them both to miss each other. No matter how bad things were, you can take for granted that your ex missed you, at least a little bit. So, the signs you're seeing from your ex right now could just be evidence of that nostalgia. Not a bad thing, but not what you're looking for.
Worst case, your ex is only messing with your head. If your ex is just playing mind games to get your attention, then the behavior you are observing isn't a sign your ex wants you back. It could be mean-spirited or vengeful. Or, if your ex hasn't found someone new yet, you could just be seeing boredom, or a desire to get you back into bed. You can't necessarily call that mean, but it's not in your best interests to allow yourself to be used in that way.
This is why you should really take time to assess whether you are seeing enough signs your ex wants you back. In the meantime, control yourself. Act a little bit "hard to get". Getting your ex back is a situation where patience is a virtue. You have to be seeing more than just a couple of signs, before you can be sure your ex is thinking about getting back together with you. You want to see 5 or more signs, to be sure.
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