According to the recent study, every fifth woman married for up to 3 years knows about orgasm only from books or movies, but not from personal experience. Among the ones married for over 10 years 10% have never reached an orgasm, and for 15% of all the women in the world (with the exclusion of China) orgasm still remains a never experienced mystery. So why isn’t an orgasm part of every couple’s bedroom and what can we do to change that?

The word orgasm originated from a Greek word "orgao", which means "to be afire with passion". This translation is right on the target. Medical dictionaries define orgasm as the most intense level of pleasure sensation that occurs at the end of sexual intercourse. The three main "tools" of reaching an orgasm for women are clitoris, vagina and uterus; although in some cases the trigger for an orgasm can be practically any part of the body. In textbooks on sexology you can find examples when the woman experienced an orgasm from being hit on the knee or from a kiss on the nose.

Female orgasm usually lasts longer than a male orgasm, and similarly to the male one it can be of a wavy nature (peaks of pleasure follow one another with minimal intervals). Sexologists single out two types of orgasms. They claim the clitoral orgasm to be just half the way to the highest feeling of ecstasy. Clitoral-vaginal orgasm is considered to be the maximum of sexual capabilities. The sensations preceding it are the feeling of weightlessness at the bottom of the stomach and warm sensation spreading from the pelvis area to the rest of the body. At the same time the muscles of vagina, uterus and buttocks are automatically contracting at a certain rhythm and a woman feels the sensation of extreme pleasure. Having experienced an orgasm once, women strive to experience it again and again.

The cases when a woman can never under any circumstances experience an orgasm are extremely rare. The reason for that is the anomaly of pre-natal development of certain parts of the brain and endocrine system. These unique women are indifferent to sex in any of its forms. If you do have an interest in intimacy and although you haven’t felt an orgasm you still experience at least some pleasant sensations, you might have secondary frigidity, which is the delayed development of sexual sensations. It might be a poor consolation, but a high percentage of women gets to experience an orgasm only after several years of marriage, very often after having a baby. There are some other factors that could potentially prevent a woman from experiencing an orgasm. Let’s look at them.

1. Peculiarities of the hormonal development. We all know that testosterone is the hormone responsible for sexual attraction for both men and women. However only few of us know that the intensity of orgasm for women is controlled by sexual hormone estrogen. If there is a shortage of this hormone, the sexual peak can be unexciting or not even happen at all. The advice in this case would be to go to the doctor and have them check your hormonal balance.

2. Weak sexual constitution. It can be high (these women become sexually excited after 3-4 minutes of foreplay), medium (15-30 minutes), and weak (a man can spend a whole day on foreplay and she still gets nothing at the end). Most women have a medium sexual constitution, which means that you can forget about an orgasm without a 20-minute foreplay.

3. Partner’s sexual illiteracy. Female orgasm depends a lot on the duration of the partner’s erection, his sexual activity and resourcefulness. Not all men realize that the rule ‘ladies first’ applies not only when it comes to opening the door for them but also when it comes to the orgasm. Men should let their partner ‘go first’ and only then reach their own climax.

4. Tearing of the perineum muscles after childbirth. An intense orgasm usually happens due to the so-called organic platform which appears right before the sexual peak. When the pelvic walls inflate with blood, the vagina entrance narrows almost twice, which is the number one indicator of the body’s readiness for orgasm. During the phase of sexual climax the platform performs 3-5 (in some cases 10-15) rhythmical contractions with a 0.8 second interval. The more contractions and the more intense they are, the more powerful the orgasm is. If the perineum muscles were damaged during childbirth and the blood filling of the vagina walls is disrupted, the organic platform and consequently the orgasm may not even happen at all. There are certain exercises you can do to strengthen the vagina muscles. We would advice to consult your doctor about those.

5. The side effects of upbringing. Very often the secondary frigidity and disharmony in the bedroom are the result of female prudency (and in some cases even male prudency). Various sexual positions and innovations are very often viewed as something indecent or even immoral. Considering any display of emotions improper these women try to constrain themselves, which as the result makes reaching an orgasm impossible. Sexologists are convinced that any displays of orgasm such as crying out, moans, pinching, biting, etc. double the sexual pleasure of both partners. If you are one of these women (or men), next time try having the kind of sex that you’ve always considered improper.

6. The oddities of your body. Some women have their genitals’ nerve endings hidden deep in the tissues. In order for them to respond to sexual pleasuring the man should not only act gently but also he should apply slightly more force than he usually would. Sometimes the clitoris is situated higher than its usual location. In this case the orgasm happens only in certain sexual positions, like for example when the woman is sitting on the man’s lap facing him.

7. Insincerity of feelings. There have been cases when women experienced the so-called affective orgasm which takes place with some negative emotions such as anger, disgust, or fear in the back of their head. More often though the sexual partners climax if both of them are united not by fear or disgust but by love or liking for each other. Without tender feelings to your sexual partner a lot of times the orgasm doesn’t happen at all.

We hope this information will help you figure out the reason that you have been unable to have orgasms, or have them more often. If you have never experienced an orgasm, you are missing out on one of the most pleasurable sensations in life and we recommend that you do all you can to fix that problem.