Saving your marriage could simply be talking it over. Too many couples never sit down to talk about anything let alone there concerns and trouble.

It as if they think not talking will let all the problems go away. That does not work. The problem is still there. In fact it is probably getting worse day by day.

The problem with a lot of couples is that when they have "talked it over" in the past they really didn’t talk it over. They had a yelling match in the heat of the situation and no one wins in those situations.

What does it take to talk it over

• Be calm

• Don’t yell

• Be sensible

• Be reasonable

To be calm you may have to wait until both parties can cool off and get in control of their emotions. This may take a little bit of time and that is okay.

The person you are talking to probably is not deaf so there is no reason to yell. If they are deaf it would be much better to use sign language or write the conversation down rather than yelling about something that is upsetting to both individuals.

When you stop and think about what you are going to say you can be sensible about the situation. You really do have matter between your ears that just be exercised on occasion when you are discussing a problem is a good time for that exercise.

To be reasonable means you will need to think again and perhaps sometimes not speak. Think with your feet in the other person’s shoes. You could be surprised what a difference this makes in what you say.

It is important when you talk that you talk using your head not just your tongue. Failure to think before you speak can create a lot of hurt and damage in a relationship.

Sullen silence does not solve problems it only lets them fester. It is good sense to talk things over and get them in the open. This allows for solutions and forgiveness. Talk it over to save your marriage.