In this rather brief guide to male chastity I want to cover some of the most pressing and critical issues about the lifestyle from the position of couples just getting started with it.

The reason I want to do this now is when I took my first steps on this path, I frequently found I was lost, confused, puzzled and even a bit frightened by the mass of differing, contradictory, and, in my opinion, harmful information you're likely to come across.

So in this brief Guide, I'll just summarise the most important points but cover them in sufficient detail to get you started.

Begin at the Beginning

Before we start, it's important to understand having a chastity husband is nothing new, not "bad" and is certainly nothing for you to be fret over, whether you're a man who's coming to terms with his needs (and maybe even fighting with them), or a wife whose husband has revealed his need for male chastity to you and you're seeking advice.

First, let's look at what we usually mean when we discuss chastity. In everyday life we generally treat chastity and celibacy as being the same. For our purposes, though, in this basic male chastity guide we'll assume there are some significant differences:

Chastity: what we usually mean is chastity in addition to orgasm denial. So what we're not suggesting is simply not making love or engaging in sexual activity. Quite the reverse: spouses who live a male chastity lifestyle generally find they are not only enjoying increased sexual activity, but find themselves actually enjoying it much more than they ever thought they could.

What we are talking about is the wife taking control of her lover's climax and not allowing him to reach one unless she says he can, even if you're getting him to please you in different ways not involving penetrative sex, or even if you are making love, not permitting him to orgasm.

As you work your way through this male chastity guide, you'll begin to get an idea why a man would desire this, why you would want to give it to him, and the pleasure in doing so for both of you.

Celibacy, on the other hand, is where you just don't engage in sexual activity, perhaps because you're without a partner, or you're unable to have sexual relations for whatever reasons, or you've taken a vow of celibacy or perhaps there could be another reason we can't even begin to imagine. Interestingly, someone who's celibate may well have more orgasms than someone who's living the male chastity lifestyle, just because a celibate man can masturbate, but a chaste man can't.

I'll say more about celibacy in a moment and why, if you're celibate yet still in a relationship, male chastity possibly is not the right option for you.

Whom Is Male Chastity Best For?

I'll go out on a limb here and say almost any fundamentally sound relationship can benefit from male chastity, and that includes gay couples (perhaps surprisingly!). The reasons are at the same time both complicated and simple as you'll discover in this male chastity guide.

In fact I'll slide out even further on the limb and say if you're typical healthy woman or gay man and you enjoy a healthy sex-life (or have before now) and you're not incredibly prudish about sex, or painfully shy, then... you've almost certainly already dabbled with enjoyed male chastity play.

Why do I claim this?

Because male chastity is on a continuum, from short sessions of orgasm denial and teasing at one end of the scale, all the way to unending orgasm denial at the other (I'll say a little more about this later in this brief male chastity guide). And the majority of men and women, if not every man and woman has at some time enjoyed teasing their spouse at some point by delaying climax even if just for a few minutes.

And if you've experienced that... then... well done!

You've already experienced male chastity.

And you both loved it, right? Even if he moaned in the most delicious way at the time.

Whom is Male Chastity NOT Right For?

If you're in a relationship and you really don't like each other (or even if only one of you doesn't think much of the other) and you're living in mutual celibacy as a choice because you just can't stand the idea of him touching you (it generally is women who end up feeling this way, unfortunately, then except for the comments I have made now, this male chastity guide won't be much help to either of you.

If you're in this kind of relationship and your husband has come to you with the notion of embracing a male chastity lifestyle and you feel your heart leaping for joy because you can see it as a foolproof way of making sure you don't ever have to have any manner of sexual contact with him ever again... then I think you're making a massive mistake.

Because he's suggesting this out of a yearning to have greater sex with you, not less!

And if you're a man reading this hoping it's going to help fan flames into the ashes of a burned out relationship, the same comments apply: the chances are it's simply not going to work. On the contrary, it's going to hurt you both much more in the end.

If you begin to see you and your partner and your own relationship in the previous few paragraphs, then I suggest you stop reading this male chastity guide and instead think seriously about proper relationship counselling, and ultimately be prepared to end it to allow you both to move on with the rest of of your lives.

Why Would Anyone Embrace the Male Chastity Lifestyle?

Ultimately this brief male chastity guide is intended to point you the right way to unlock the strategies and techniques aimed at dramatically improving your relationship by vastly improving the affection you feel for each other, making you grow even closer together, and allowing you to develop a much richer, deeper and more satisfying understanding of each other's sexuality than you have at the moment.

With the proviso your underlying marriage is secure and your love for one another remains undiminished, even if the fires of lust are not now burning so bright as they have in the past, male chastity is certainly something you can safely consider at least giving a go.

How to Get Started with Male Chastity

There is but one reason for male chastity: and that is to improve your relationship in all areas and as a result improve your entire life.

And because of that it's crucial to understand no matter which how you approach it, what you do or how you decide to follow your male chastity lifestyle, if it's acceptable to you both, then that's all you should care about.

You perhaps imagine that's a strange statement for me to make; but understand one of the reasons I have written this male chastity guide is there is so little accurate information about that's not tainted with nonsense, fantasy and downright bad advice.

Now, how to start with male chastity is... to start at the very beginning.

There is a temptation to dive straight in at the deep-end by rushing out and getting a chastity device and thinking you can just lock it on and remain secure for a long time. And you will certainly read accounts exactly like that all over the Internet.

And they're not true.

No, we can't prove this and you are free to believe them if you like, but no one who has genuine real-life experience with male chastity is going to give them the slightest bit of credibility.

The tell-tales that they're only stories are many and varied, but please, for the moment, in this male chastity guide, believe me, male chastity is the same as any other aspect of your marriage: you don't want to rush into it and at best be disappointed and at worst unnecessarily spoil something wonderful you wouldn't have spoiled if you'd just taken your time.

So, I'm going to assume at this moment, you're sitting reading this male chastity guide together or at least you're both at a point where you're talking about the male chastity lifestyle as an avenue you're willing to explore.

There are many simple, comfortable and low-key ways to broach the subject with your partner whether you're a man or a woman, but one very simple way I share with you in a different article is to make use of male chastity stories.

First, start with some gentle chastity play. Agree in advance you want him to please you any way he likes, but make it clear you won't allow him to have penetrative sex with you and he'll have to engage his imagination.

Massage is a great way to begin, and then remember he has fingers and a tongue (use your imagination, too... you're reading a male chastity guide not a sex manual!).

The first few times it might be uncomfortable because it's new territory for both of you. Promise him you'll make love to him again the next morning and allow him to come if he pleases you tonight. That way he's not got too long to suffer and he is unlikely to get sulky (he won't mean to, but male chastity is all new to him, too).

After a few times you can lengthen the time you're going to make him wait a little: maybe the next night, or the weekend.

If this is working well and both of you feel comfortable with the next stage, you can invest in a basic chastity device. Now, there are literally hundreds of these things available and you can pay anything from £90 for a simple plastic device to more than for a bespoke made-to-measure high-tech steel chastity belt.

I recommend in this male chastity guide you settle for something simple and not too expensive, like the plastic devices tend to be and see how it suits you. In our experience with gentle play, the plastic device was fine but it didn't suit us at all for long-term wear. However, some wearers find them suitable and effective for long-term use.

All you can do is try one out and see how it is for you.

Just don't expect too much too quickly.

Even if the device is not uncomfortable you could still find when he gets really horny on it is very uncomfortable and painful for him, and even though some women say that's a fair "punishment", that's not something I'm interested in - this is a male chastity guide, not a manual for Dominatrixes! I want to deny his orgasm and have him wanting me like crazy not in pain from squashed, sore and swollen balls!

At some point, you're almost certainly going to find you want to progress a little. Now, there are no hard and fast rules about this and it's absolutely vital to discover what suits you and your partner rather than trying to follow what so many people in the "community" will demand you "have to" do. Believe me, some do get thoroughly unpleasant if you don't live your life and treat your husband or lover how they think he has to be treated.

Ultimately you'll get to a point at which you are comfortable, and to some extent that is going to dictate the type of device you ultimately end up with. Generally in this male chastity guide I'd say get the most expensive device or belt you can stretch to because in my experience there's nothing quite as disappointing as a device you have to give up on because it's not suitable for wearing for the length of time you want him to wear it!

Two Last Bits of Advice

As I mentioned above, you'll ultimately determine what works best for you both and that's the only thing you want to concern yourself with.

However, I want to make two points in this male chastity guide which I consider to be "universals", in that everyone I've ever spoken who has successfully incorporated male chastity into their relationship agrees with me.

First, bear in mind male chastity is meant to be pleasurable for you both. I know there's some teasing in it but you have to be the judge of when his "no" means "yes", and when "no" really is a "no".

The other point is you must be strong. Yes, it seems like a contradiction to what I've just said, but you must remember he has begged for this, or he's at least agreed to it if the idea is yours.

In truth, he wants you to be strong with him. He might say he wants to climax but he craves you to deny it.

This can't be stressed too much in any male chastity guide.

As an, my husband, John, whom I keep in incredibly rigid male chastity and orgasm denial, generally for month after month, will sometimes beg me not to let him climax because the feeling of being "in the zone" is so amazingly pleasurable.

Moreover, when it does become too much and he begs for an orgasm, if I refuse (and I never do give in if he's begging me... that's one of the rules), then even though he moans and groans at the time... afterwards he is grateful to me for being so strong and uncompromising.

In the early days I would frequently cave in... and he then said to me afterwards I should have been stricter. Men!

To Sum Up

The male chastity lifestyle is exciting, enjoyable and exceptionally gratifying for both you and your lover.

But like any lifestyle, it takes some imagination and work to get it exactly right. Most important of all is it's your life and you ought to do it your way.