Most men want to be good in bed. Most men want to please their beloved women sexually. However, most guys are rather clueless in bed which prevents them from having a satisfying sex life.

Here are some reasons why many men fail in their bedroom:

(1) Men assume women want the same things as they do

This is very normal because most of the time we do not really know what other people are thinking. In trying to figure this out, we sometimes assume that others have the same thinking as us. This creates a lot of misunderstanding.

When comes to sex, he will think that the rhythm and intensity of his penetration is probably what she wants when he is making love to her. This will also lead him to misinterpret her sexual signals.

(2) Men follow blindly on the sex tips

Some guys really do make an effort to understand women and want very much to satisfy them sexually. They read women’s books or magazine articles about sex tips. They check out women’s magazines to find out what women are talking about and what they say they like. They hear about some lovemaking techniques that claim to drive all women wild.

The problem is what they are reading is about what one particular woman likes and the reality is women are grossly different in their sexual preferences. Not only that, what a woman likes can also change drastically with her mood and emotional state. It can change even more when she is with a different partner. With a different man, the chemistry changes and she is no longer comfortable with the same type of lovemaking that used to please her in the past.

Failure to realize that not all women are turn on in the same way will lead these guys to get frustrated with themselves and their women because they do not understand why the sex tips do not work.

A good way to avoid this problem is you should only try out a sex tip or lovemaking technique, which when read it, really turns you on. If on the other hand, you are applying a sex tip because someone told you that this will guarantee to keep your girl high, it can seem weird to her. She will probably sense that you are using her as a guinea pig to "try out a lovemaking technique" instead of being involved in making love with her.

(3) Being overwhelmed with some unfounded insecurities

Some men worry about being not attractive or sexy enough. Others are concerned their "working tool" not big enough to satisfy females. These worries affect men’s sexual performance and confidence.

For a woman, your ability to feel at ease with yourself is the biggest turn on. She can feel your confidence and this earns her sexual trust which allows her to totally surrender herself and reaches orgasm.

In a woman’s eyes, a guy who is comfortable with himself, who accepts his own sexuality and is confident about what he wants to do and what he enjoys in the bedroom is a great lover even if he does not read any sex tips or he does not have a big "sex weapon" between his legs.

What You Can Do To Overcome The Just-Mentioned Problems?

The good news is that most of those typical problems that guys have can be solved if they just need to do the one most important thing. What I am referring is "Paying Attention" or "Becoming Present". It basically means that you "tune in" to the woman you are with. You "pay attention" to how she is responding and what she is feeling. By observing the changes on her body such as her breathing, her muscle tension, her moaning, the changing temperature of her skin, you will in the course of time be able to know what she likes and dislikes and what works and does not work on her.

Paying attention solves the first mistake because instead of assuming what she likes, you actually tune in and notice exactly what she likes.

Paying attention solves the second mistake because if a sex tip is working, you can continue with it and enjoy the whole process and you can drop it if it is not working.

Paying attention can solve most of those unfounded insecurities because it deviates your attention away from them as you refocus on her sexual responses at the particular moment.